Congratulating Yourself on a Good Parenting Job

A couple shared with me that their son just graduated from high school and is heading to college. They let themselves celebrate this milestone with tears and champagne, surrounded by friends, family, and an abundance of his favorite pizzas and chocolate cakes and cupcakes.

When you've done a good job of parenting, a little self-congratulations is totally healthy. In fact, I want to suggest that over the summer you make the time to reflect on what good you have done in raising your children. Do it more than once.

I wrote myself a letter on what I loved about the way I parented. It was only for me to read. It ignited me into memories like the time the my daughter and I camped near a beach thinking we would cook outside, pitch a tent, count stars and give them names, when in reality there were too many bees, we camped too far from the beach and couldn't walk there, and our tent was pitched under rocks.

I reflected on the evening she went to a party, age 13, dressed up and scared to walk into a famous hotel by herself. I didn't walk her in even though I wanted to help her out. Helping her was letting her legs shake and make it into the lobby by herself where friends were chatting with presents in hand.

I also remember the times I should have said no and didn't. She forgot her books in her locker and I had to drive her back to school to get them. Do you think this is the first time I did that drive after work? Oh no, even though I said I wouldn't do it again, I did.