Stepchildren relate with stepparents based on the stepparents' treatment of them and their evaluation of the stepparents' behavior, U.S. researchers suggest.
Larry Ganong and Marilyn Coleman of the University of Missouri identified factors that are related to positive and negative stepchild-stepparent relationships.
The study, published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, found stepchildren's relationships with stepparents was based on the children's judgments on what the stepparents bring to the table, but they were also affected by biological parents and other family members.
"Whether or not stepparents are accepted by stepchildren depends on the overall family situation and if they are recognized as being beneficial to their family, either financially or emotionally," Ganong says in a statement. "However, step-relationships aren't determined solely by individual actions, but by the collective interactions of both persons in the relationship."
However, in some relationships, triangulation occurs when non-residential birth parents work to get their children to "side" with them and reject stepparents, the researchers suggest.
"Rather than engage children against stepparents, parents should seek counsel from persons outside the family, such as a minister, a therapist or best friend, and avoid getting kids involved," Ganong suggests. "Parents should remember that they won't be replaced by stepparents if they maintain strong bonds and that their kids will still love them, even if they also love their stepparents."
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