Dr. Romances 3 tips to successful remarriage
1. Understand Your Baggage: You both have leftovers from earlier relationships. If you understand your own history, and seek to learn about your partners, youll stop repeating past mistakes. Talking about your past will help you understand each other, and resolve guilt, fear and jealousy about past loves. Learn about your similarities and differences, hopes and dreams. Familiarity with what went wrong in the past will help you recognize problems before you repeat them.
2. Learn to Solve Problems without fighting: You need to disagree and solve problems, but you dont need to fight. Learn to focus on solving the problem rather than blaming and criticizing each other. Regular weekly update talks keep problems minor, the resentment level down, and the communication open, so that there is time and space for intimacy.
3. Create Good Will: Every kind or unkind word, every gesture of support or criticism, every honest or dishonest interaction between you, and every gesture of affection or coldness are banked in your memory:
* A history of happiness, kindness, forgiveness, support, honesty, appreciation, caring and affection, and sexual/ emotional intimacy creates a reservoir of good will, affection and warm memories you can draw on during problems, separations, disagreements, illnesses, and stress. * Memories of coldness, criticism, ingratitude, dishonesty, demands, and dissatisfaction build a negative backlog of resentment and disdain, which makes your relationship brittle and stifles goodwill and generosity.
* Shared memories of good feelings and goodwill motivate you to be more caring of each other and will strengthen your bond.
