All mammals are sexual, but humans are the only mammal that truly eroticizes sexuality because they use their imagination to combine fantasy with sexuality. Erotic fantasy is the basis of all passion. As humans we all have some type of erotic fantasy life, even if it is so personal to us that we rarely express it.
Before you think about sharing a fantasy with your Valentine, you may first need to discover your own inner erotic fantasy life. Sometimes we are not in touch with our own inner sexual imagination. If you are one of those men or women who think, I have no idea what my fantasies are? Then begin by asking yourself the following questions:
When I think about sex do I imagine being in charge or having someone else in control?
When I think about sex am I usually running the show or is someone else the director?
When I think about what turns me on do I imagine being ravished or being the ravisher?
Your answers will determine if you are more dominant or more submissive. You can also get an idea from your answers whether or not you are a ravisher or a ravish-ee. Either way the ability to discover your inner fantasy life is an important step in your erotic life with your partner. Once you have gotten in touch with your own inner erotic life, you can share what you desire directly with your partner.
Now look back on your erotic history in your relationship. Have you ever shared a fantasy with your partner before? How did it go and what was it like? Were you comfortable sharing or did you feel awkward and strange? For Valentines Day this year commit to sharing an erotic fantasy with your partner in a way that makes you both feel sexy and connects you to your sweetie.Keep in mind that sharing a fantasy with your partner does not mean you need to take that fantasy into action. If you have an erotic desire, the way to share that with a partner is to put it into the following recipe:When I think about __________ it really turns me on. When I imagine you are doing this to me ___________ I get really excited. I would like to keep this in fantasy only but wanted to share my fantasy with you. I hope that it turns you on as much as it turns me on. Or: When I think about ________ -it really turns me on. When I imagine you are doing this to me __________ -----I get really excited. I would like to bring this into action somehow, someday. I hope that thinking about turning this into reality might be exciting for you too.Sharing with a partner your most intimate desires can be a really exciting way to celebrate Valentines Day. Just sharing these fantasies could make your hottest Valentines Day ever. Tammy Nelson PhD is a Sex and Relationship expert and blogger and the author of Getting the Sex You Want; Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together.