How to Bring Back the Romance!

Romance dies. That's a fact, right? When you find the love of your life, you'll both settle into a daily routine of financial, household and child-rearing responsibilities, forgetting you are a couple. Right? Romance will only last through the initial crush of the relationship. After that you and your partner will start taking each other for granted . . . right?

Wrong. It does not have to be this way. There are many relationships in which romance is alive and well. I, myself, am in such a relationship, and you can be, too.

In case you think this is a trivial subject, you need to know that romance matters to the health and well-being of your relationship. Being romantic is nothing more or less than appreciating and celebrating your partner. This means that if romance dies, one or both people in the relationship will begin to feel unappreciated. For many, this can be the beginning of the end of the relationship, or perhaps the beginning of an affair.

Below are four attitudes or actions for you to adapt to make sure romance never dies in your relationship -- or to help you revive it.

1. Learn Compassion and Acceptance
Realize that your partner is human, no matter how perfect he or she seemed in the beginning. He is going to do things that bug you. She is going to do things to disappoint you. Expect this. In fact, is there any relationship of any type where this is not the case? Try to have as much compassion for and acceptance of your partner as you do for your friends.

Most importantly, remember that your partner is not acting imperfectly to hurt you. His or her imperfections are not an indication of a lack of love for you. 2. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate Those Negative EmotionsCommunicate when you feel hurt. Communicate when you need something to change. Communicate when you are disappointed. Communicate when you feel angry. Communicate when you feel needy. It is the negative emotions like those above we tend to not want to communicate in a relationship. We think we are taking care of our partner by sparing him or her our anger or disappointment. In fact, when we hold our negative emotions back, we are quietly releasing poison into the atmosphere of the relationship. The best thing to do with any negative emotion is to get it out in the open and resolve it. But communicate these emotions instead of accusing your partner of making you feel a certain way.3. Appreciate and Celebrate Your Partner Every DayI know this one is hard to do, but it will help your relationship immediately. I don't mean to be fatalistic, but accidents happen all of the time. For all you know, today could be the last day you and your partner have together. And if it is the last day, you won't know it until it is over.
The thing most people regret when a loved one dies is not having had the opportunity to say, "I love you." If a loved one has died in your life, you know exactly what I mean. So live each day as if it were the last day of your relationship. If this really were the last day with your partner, you would want him or her to know how much he or she is loved and appreciated.4. Touch Each Other Every DayPhysical connection is essential to the health and longevity of the relationship, as well as to the health and longevity of each of you. If you have been out of practice for a while, you may not feel romantic at first, and may not want to be intimate with your partner. Even if it feels forced or artificial, I suggest you try to connect physically and sexually. As you reconnect, you will find it gets easier to continue reconnecting and to bring the romance -- and even love -- back into your relationship.Master Certified Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries coaches singles to attract and build loving, fulfilling, long-term relationships. For more information about Coach Rinatta Paries and the myriad of services she has created for singles, visit her Web site,
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