All you seem to talk about now are kids, jobs and the business of your daily routine. And when you create a life and family together, of course you need to focus on the responsibilities of life. However, readers at MarsVenus.com have been asking us lately: "How can I re-ignite the mental flame that once drew us together?"
It will help if you understand the four main types of chemistry that inspire partners to feel attracted to each other. Physical chemistry is attraction to each other's physical appearance, and emotional chemistry involves caring about each other's feelings and happiness. You may even have spiritual chemistry, where you feel connected on a higher level. Mental chemistry is the interest partners share in each other's thoughts and perceptions about life. If you're missing mental chemistry, you may feel like some of the excitement is gone from your relationship. What causes this to happen?You may have gotten into the habit of talking about the same old topics, or the humdrum business of daily life. Or you may find that at the end of the day, you're both too tired to do much more than kiss good-night. Some couples try to keep conversations limited to "safe topics." They don't venture into new territory because they want to avoid arguments. Remember that having different opinions isn't necessarily negative, and can even make the relationship a lot more exciting. Try to keep an open mind and don't take it personally. If you both know you can happily agree to disagree about certain opinions or beliefs, then you can feel free to explore any subject together. Here are some ideas:
Share readings from your favorite poets, novelists or spiritual teachers, and offer your thoughts by the glow of candlelight. Work on a creative project together. Keep a journal with ideas, feelings, personal letters or drawings you may want to share with each other. This creative activity is especially good for couples who are very busy or travel a lot. Visit a museum or art exhibit, see a play or cultural event, or do something different that will inspire you to share new ideas with each other. Make a list with your partner of new things you'd both like to learn, and then take a class or one-day workshop at a community center or YMCA. Some classes on massage, yoga or swing-dancing are especially made for couples. Ask local agencies for information on volunteer projects, and work on social causes you both care about. Visit a local gospel church, your neighborhood mosque, or visit a Jewish or Buddhist temple. Exploring new views about life can be a fascinating journey of discovery. Have fun sharing and discussing new ideas and activities, and keep the mental attraction and excitement alive in your relationship. If you would like to learn how to approach your spouse to discuss your vision for your shared future, an AskMarsVenus telephone relationship coach can help. Call 1-888-627-7836 or visit www.askmarsvenus.com for more information. John Gray has helped millions of men and women develop better relationships with his phenomenal New York Times bestseller "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" (HarperCollins, 2004). For insight into dating and relationships today, visit Relationship Advice from MarsVenus.com.
Source: Relationships & Love
