Is He Really Right For You?

At this stage in life, many women, due to divorce or widowhood, find themselves alone. Most would prefer to be part of a couple. Its often hard to meet someone new, and even more difficult to know whether the person you get involved with will be the right one. .

No one is perfect, but there are certain signs that can help you make a sound decision. Though relationships are emotionally driven, thinking clearly will help you assess if a guy is right for you.

1. Do the two of you share the same beliefs? Your values will determine how your lives and time are shared. Though you dont have to agree on everything, the more theres alignment in your core beliefs, the easier life will be.

2. How does he handle disagreements? Couples have conflicts. Whats important is how he manages the dispute. Is he respectful vs. shutting down or not addressing the issue? A good relationship entails each partner feeling heard and meeting the others needs.

3. How does he act with others? You can tell a great deal by how he behaves. Is he respectful rather than arrogant or judgmental? Even more meaningful is the manner in which he treats significant people like his mother or sister; they serve as good indicators of how he deals with those close to him.

4. How does he treat you in front of others? Its crucial that you dont take a back seat but are seen as someone whos important.

5. What is your private time like? Though publicly, he may function one way, is he consistent when the two of you are alone? Though you dont have to spend every waking moment together, you want to feel valued rather than an intrusion upon him.6. Do you get a sense that what you think and feel matters? Though he might not necessarily agree with you, does he listen and respect your opinions, viewpoints, and feelings?7. Does he act responsibly? Is he able to manage his money matters in a reasonable way? Does he follow through on what he tells you?Im a true believer that everything you want to know about someone is evident initially, if you really pay attention and dont merely respond on emotions. If you need some objectivity, ask a trusted friend. If the overall picture looks good, take the plunge, and I hope you are the way to a satisfying relationship. Remember, they say love can be lovelier the second time around!Psychologist Dr. Karen Sherman (www.drkarensherman.com) helps people connect to their fullest potential individually and in relationships.
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