Rules to Stay Friends With an Ex

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  • Allow Some Time to Mourn

    According to Angelowicz, the end of a relationship carries similar characteristics to the death of a loved one, even if it's on a much lower scale. Give both you and your former lover some time to mourn the death of the relationship before you try to spark a friendship. When both hearts have healed and, when you've both moved on and found closure, move towards a friendship.

  • Seek Out New Love Interests People say that the quickest way to get over a breakup is to meet and date new love interests. And, according to Angelowicz, having another person in your love life can help you become friends with an ex as well. For one thing, it will keep you from having urges of getting back together. Just don't discuss your awesome, blossoming love with your ex. Friends or not, it's always a good idea to remain respectful.
  • Don't Analyze the Relationship It's easy to talk about your past relationship with your ex because he's the one who is most familiar with the situation, but Angelowicz says to avoid analyzing what went wrong when you were together. There are other resources for that: Your friends, therapist, or even a journal. Keep the focus on the current friendship, not the past relationship.
  • Think Things Through More-than-friendly feelings for your ex may arise when you're trying to work on being platonic friends. If this happens, says Angelowicz, take some time away from each other and evaluate the circumstance. It can be tempting to get back together with your ex, but only do so if you are completely certain that that is the best thing for you. Acting on impulse is rarely a good thing!