How to Attract Others With Body Language

Positive body language is all about how you make others feel. The most "attractive" people in the room know how to make everyone else feel attractive and interesting.

Their secret? They use plenty of reinforcement behaviors that say "I hear you, I like you, I know what you mean." Translated into body language, it means a liberal use of nods, gestures, eye contact and, most important of all, a good warm smile.

The field of kinesics (the scientific study of body movements) tells us that no single movement has a precise meaning. If your new acquaintance crosses his or her arms, it doesn't necessarily mean they dislike you -- it may just mean the room is cold!

Instead, body language centers around clusters of gestures and expressions. These patterns of movement can be most revealing, and show our true inner feelings.

Use the lists below to detect body language patterns in yourself and others.

	Positive Body Language				Negative Body Language
	How to say "I like you" -- and how to tell if they're interested in you.				Are you guilty of these sins? Avoid them and people will respond more positively to you.
	•		Direct eye contact (no staring)		•		Eye contact not met
	•		Warm, open smile (teeth revealed)		•		Tight or no smile
	•		Nodding		•		Down and away glances
	•		Head tilted		•		Not fully facing, at an angle
	•		Open, inclusive gestures (palms showing)		•		Leaning away
	•		Fully facing others		•		Hunched shoulders
	•		Leaning forward		•		Too-stiff posture
	•		Upright but relaxed posture		•		Weak handshake
	•		Firm handshake		•		Chin into chest
	•		Double hand clasp handshake		•		Arms crossed
	•		Feet firmly planted		•		Legs crossed
	•		Chin up		•		Body sagging
	•		Sitting forward		•		Legs outstretched while seated
	•		Eyebrow flash upon greeting		•		Absentminded gazes
	•		Touching another's arm or shoulder		•		Dropped gazes
	•		Winking (used with discretion)		•		Staring
	•		Tightened abdomen, sticking out chest		•		Scanning body below neck
	•		Mirroring another's gestures and body stance		•		Fidgeting
	•		"Accidently" brushing another's hand		•		Standing too still
	•		Scanning the face with eyes (don't go below chin)		•		Exclusive gestures (closed and away from your body)
	•		Preening behavior: straightening tie, fixing hair, adjusting skirt, wetting lips		•		Self-touching
	•		Blocking behavior (to keep others away from the two of you)
	•		Pupils dilated (hard to detect, but usually a sign of attraction)

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