Crazy Glue for the Broken Heart

During the "internalizing" phase, you believe you deserve or have caused the "bad" things that happened to you, and blame yourself for the breakup. This causes you to question your self-worth and devalue yourself as a man or woman. During this critical third stage is when your wound can become infected and permanent scarring can set in. Follow these steps to avoid the effects of internalizing:

1. Stop turning the rage against yourself. Beating yourself up only injures your self-esteem. Fight self-doubt with all your might.

2. Learn something positive. We all learn from our mistakes. Take responsibility for your side of the equation. Rather than blaming yourself, use your lessons learned to work toward becoming your higher self.

3. Take your ex off the pedestal. In spite of what you believe right now, your ex is neither as irreplaceable nor as special as you think. Stop idealizing your ex at your own expense.

4. Honor yourself. Recapture the power you've lost to your ex by making yourself the special new object of your devotion.

5. Face your reality and accept its challenge. Think of your current emotional crisis as exactly where you need to be to work on yourself.

6. Create a daily regimen. Develop a strategy for moving in a positive direction and follow it daily, even when you don't feel like moving a muscle. Going through healthy motions will eventually make you feel better and help you reach your goals. The motto "fake it until you make it" pays off in the end.

7. Make a new resolution every day and keep it. Maintain confidence that each positive action will eventually lead to success.

8. Don't fault yourself for feeling emotional pain. The strongest, most independent people feel intense sorrow and fear when their love connections are threatened. These lingering feelings are universal, even though most people don't show them publicly. Although your friends and family may say, "Just get over it," recognize that your pain is part of being human and that it takes time. It's not your job to recover on your friends' timeframe.

9. Give yourself a positive stroke every day. Look to see how you've handled today differently than yesterday. Give yourself credit for the strengths you are developing, your independent strides and positive actions. On a particularly bad day, embrace yourself just for surviving.

10. Fill your mind with enlightenment. Meet positive people, read enlightening books and attend interesting seminars and workshops. Take advantage of every growth opportunity available to you. You can even grow and learn online with these free classes.

Stage Four: Rage >

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