Crazy Glue for the Broken Heart

Rage heralds the beginning of recovery. This fourth stage is when you begin to reverse the rejection, take back your power and take on the challenges of the outside world.

1. Rage doesn't mean you have to get revenge against your ex. Remember, the best revenge is success.

2. Watch your moves. Anger spurts out of control during this turbulent time. As agitated and impatient as you feel, be careful not to take your rage out on innocent bystanders (including friends who, in their own imperfect way, are only trying to help).

3. Start turning it around. Invest your aggressive energy into turning this difficult time into one of personal triumph. Commit to positive change.

4. Take back control. Don't put your life on hold waiting for your ex to come back or change. It's time to will yourself to move forward.

5. Get ready to forgive. If you're still feeling "wronged," you might not be ready to make the leap all the way to complete forgiveness. Here's a twist: Imagine asking your ex to forgive you for using him/her to abuse yourself.

6. Don't suppress your rage -- channel it positively. Properly directed rage can mobilize action, fuel new projects, help you change old routines and explore new avenues to wellness. Use your rage to go after your old self-defeating patterns with a vengeance and revamp your life.

7. Identify your relationship patterns. Vow to break the patterns that have kept you on the outside of love in previous relationships.

8. Conquer new territory. Take a trip to a new environment that will support the new you, free from all of the old reminders. Use this time to regroup and establish new goals.

9. Reclaim old territory. Reclaim some of the territory lost in the breakup. Re-experience some of your sacred places with a new friend or by yourself to discover your ability to celebrate life without your ex.

10. Create your own closure for the relationship. Write your ex a letter, expressing all of your feelings, stating your own reasons for choosing to separate. Then decide whether or not to send it. Either way, set firm boundaries with your ex, bringing an end to the relationship on your terms.

Stage Five: Lifting >

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