Ask Dr. Betty Polston, the Midlife Relationships Expert

1. Carve out time during the day for self-exploration. Use a journal to record your thoughts and ideas.
   
   
2. List all the qualities you like about yourself (emotional, personality-wise, and physical). Look over your "I like me" list. Read it out loud. After each item say, "I have a lot to offer and I like me." This is called positive reinforcement.
   
   
3. Next, list things you would like to do but never gave yourself the time for--maybe you have a nice voice and have always wanted to take singing lessons or join a chorus.
   
   
4. Pick an idea from your wish list and begin to plan, step by step, how you will bring that into your life. For singing, call around, and see if there are neighborhood choruses to join. Go to a meeting, try out. Go at least three times.
   
   
5. Now, if you're liking and developing new parts of yourself, you're ready to meet nice men--provided you are honest and up front with your current guy. Start with friends; get the word out that you're available. You'll have to reach out, be bold, and go where the men are. For example, ask an attractive man in a department store for his opinion about a tie you're buying, or strike up a conversation at the market. Take classes and join organizations that interest you. Start corresponding with interesting men on the Internet.

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