Ask Dr. Betty Polston, the Midlife Relationships Expert

If you give up your condo, with no commitments on his part, will your self-esteem and independence stay intact? Will you have any power? Will you have a sense of control in the relationship? If your answer is NO to even one of these questions, you need to do more self-exploration. In order to feel good in any relationship we first need to feel confident about ourselves, period.

Explore: What would give you a sense of some power and control? You imply you'd like to keep your condo but would feel financially strapped. Consider this: agree to live with him in his apartment, but renew your lease on your condo and ask him to pay half the rent. If he agrees, he'll be showing respect for you and your independence as well as his commitment to the relationship. Brainstorm: I'm sure you have other options that will even the playing field.

There are no guarantees in relationships; love and honor your needs and you'll be fine no matter what happens!

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