Ask Dr. Betty Polston, the Midlife Relationships Expert

I'm assuming your husband wants to start a romance again since you say you're now talking. You are not to make any commitments to remarry but instead, you both need to commit to working on your relationship. Time is on your side so fill it up productively by doing the following:

1. Do an honest "self search." What was your part in your marital problems? No marriage, or its problems, is one-sided.

2. Marital therapy did not help your relationship. Consider attending a marriage education course where the two of you will learn skills that can help re-create and maintain a healthier relationship.

3. Try dating each other again. Talk about the early years just before you married and the first years of marriage. There is nothing like newness, fun, and humor to perk up any relationship. After marriage and the kids, "stale" often becomes the operative feeling. Remember, you're going for new and fun!

4. Take your time, be patient, and take the pressure off yourself. You're exploring and questioning the chances for a successful remarriage.

In the process of searching yourself and working together as a couple, you will undoubtedly grow and can begin to trust yourself and your judgment. Then your confusion can dissipate and the decision to remarry or stay single will become clearer.

Share your advice: Your name:

Have a question for Dr. Betty? Ask it here
Missed a week? Find past Q&A's here
Back to Dr. Betty intro
Please read our disclaimer