Ask Dr. Betty Polston, the Midlife Relationships Expert

My marriage is on the rocks but I don't want to get a divorce. Can you tell me the divorce danger signs and what I might do to prevent a break-up? --M.

Dear M.,

Marriage today is hard work. In years past it was held together by family pressures, economic issues (not as many women worked), and the religious community. Today many of these external factors have little influence, and staying together is based largely on a couple's feelings for each other.

These feelings often move into the negative column and can spiral downward, pushing the positive reasons you got together into the twilight zone and making them difficult to recall.

Dr. John Gottman, in his research at the University of Washington, has identified four major negative behaviors that spell D-A-N-G-E-R for couples and can lead to divorce. Next: The 4 Signs and How to Avoid Them >

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