Ask Dr. Betty Polston, the Midlife Relationships Expert

I have been married for 40 years and have a fairly good sex life but I find myself fantasizing about having sex with women I work with. I often fantasize about someone else while making love to my wife and sometimes must in order to climax. What is wrong here and what should I do about it? --D.

Dear D.,

Remember the 1963 movie "Charade"? In it, Audrey Hepburn confronts Cary Grant with the question, "Do you know what's wrong with you?" He looks at her in a quizzical manner and she answers, "NOTHING." There is NOTHING wrong with you for having these fantasies--they are normal and natural occurrences for many men and women.

We can't always control what we think. The brain circuitry for attachment is not closely linked to that for attraction or lust, so it is possible to be attracted to more than one person. But, do you need to act on your attractions? No!
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