Ask Dr. Betty Polston, the Midlife Relationships Expert

Here are some guidelines to selecting the right therapist for you:

1. Your starting point is to ask relatives and friends for referrals.
2. For more referrals, contact the American Association for Marital and Family Therapy (AAMFT) (202-452-0109) or the American Psychological Association 800-964-2000).
3. When you have located several therapists in your area, first interview them on the phone. Ask them:
   • What is your education and training? (Make sure they have at least a master's degree in psychology or a related field.)
   • What experience do you have with people who have similar problems to mine?
   • What do you charge for therapy? Are your fees negotiable? Do you take insurance?
   • What is your average length of treatment? (I am partial to short-term, goal-oriented therapy in which you work on solutions.)
   
   
   

1. What are your goals? Be very concrete about what you want to accomplish and communicate this in the first session with your therapist.
2. Consider having a "contract" with your therapist for 6-10 sessions to help you deal with your problem. After 4-6 sessions, evaluate your progress to see if you are beginning to meet your goals.
3. You need to feel comfortable with your therapist. Does he or she listen to, respect, and like you? This is very important--remember you are hiring someone to help you! If after several visits there is no connection, find another therapist.

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