Ask Dr. Betty Polston, the Midlife Relationships Expert

I'm in my early 50s and having trouble getting aroused. When I try to have sex with my husband, I have a lot of pain. I've heard this is common but that doesn't help at all! My husband thinks I am rejecting him. What can I do to enjoy my sex life again? --I.

Dear I.,

The truth is coming out of the closet, the spotlight is turned on at last: you are not alone. Close to half of women of all ages have some sexual dysfunction at one time or another.

Viagra was a boon for many men. It helped them become erect and enjoy sex more. Well, it isn't that simple for us gals. We're a bit more complicated: we need to deal with our relationship, our physiology, our comfort level (pain). Furthermore, if you're going through or have gone through menopause you may be experiencing vaginal dryness, interrupted sleep, weight gain, and/or mood changes.

Round and Round: It's a circular thing. Mood changes and weight gain affect our feelings about our own desirability. Interrupted sleep makes us tired and cranky, and vaginal dryness contributes to pain during intercourse. Our natural reaction is to avoid pain. Is it any wonder that we turn off our eagerness to get it on? Next: Ways to Improve Your Intimacy >

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