ThirdAge: Cokie, did you ever feel like you had to fight a battle on behalf of your gender?
Cokie: Of course I did, but not at home. In the world, I've had to do it all the time. When I got out of college, it was legal to say, "We don't hire women to do that." So of course, I fought a battle on behalf of my gender; I'm still fighting it. And I've been doing it for 35 years but it was not on the home front.
TA: Do you think that there are still inequities?
Cokie: Of course there are, but I think this is something that time will solve. The differences between when I went into the workplace and now are like night and day. Every place you looked when we started working was all white men, that's all that was there. And they still think it's their jobs and we're taking them away from them, you know. The notion that we all have equal access to these jobs still comes hard.
Steve: But I also think it's true that that was one of the very early sources of our connection. I knew what I was getting myself in for. I knew I was dealing with a very strong, opinionated, intelligent woman. And that's part of what appealed to me about her. One of the first dates we ever had was for a speech I was giving at Harvard [where he was a student] about how women should be a bigger part of the life at Harvard College. So I like to think that there was an underlying quality of respect between us. (And it's certainly true that Cokie fought a lot of battles that younger women don't understand or appreciate.)
Cokie: That's right. I think that I subconsciously chose a man who felt that way because of my father.
TA: Steve, how did it feel when Cokie became the prime breadwinner, obviously more public mass penetration, whatever you want to call it. Was there some kind of re-negotiation of common ground?
Steve: Yes and no. It's a good question, it's a fair question. In one sense, no, because when I said that there was a fundamental equality, I think this was true when I was the prime breadwinner and Cokie was following me around. And so it continued to be true when she became better known and better paid.
So I never felt in any way, as I hope she never felt, that when the tables were turned that somehow fame or income created an imbalance in the core relationship. But it's certainly true that I had to re-calibrate in a pretty basic way. For a long time, I was the better known partner. I was the New York Times bureau chief in Los Angeles and Athens, the White House correspondent, the congressional correspondent. Then there was the period where we were sort of equal, because we covered the same stories and basically had the same jobs.
TA: I like the story in the book where somebody was spreading the rumor that you two were having an affair not knowing that the NPR reporter was your wife!
Cokie: [Laughs] Isn't that great? "Steve Roberts is having an affair with that radio reporter." Next: Cokie's Father >
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ThirdAge: Cokie, did you ever feel like you had to fight a battle on behalf of your gender?
