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The Rebuilding Process
Understandably, the process of saving a damaged relationship can bring about its own level of emotional fallout as feelings of trust and safety are repaired. Sometimes a betrayed spouse becomes hyper-vigilant about his or her partner's activities and whereabouts. Others become obsessed with the details of the affair, and then find it hard to avoid making comparisons. But many couples find that if they can get through the rough spots, they might not only survive an affair but eventually arrive at a new level of communication and understanding.
"Leaving a bad marriage without trying to repair it first is like buying high and selling low," Dr. Glass told Psychology Today. "Better to see how good you can make it, then look at it and ask: 'Is this good enough?'"
Surviving an affair doesn't guarantee you've eliminated the possibility of another. Once you've begun negotiating the sometimes slow and painful path toward rebuilding your relationship, you must also commit yourself to making sure it remains strong.
"A relationship is like a fire," Glass says. "You can let it go down, but you can't let it go out. Even though you're in another part of the house, you have to go back every once in a while to stoke the coals."
When Is an Affair an Affair? 
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