Top 5 Reasons Sex Can Get Better With Age |
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3. Accepting Change Brings You Closer Together
By accepting that your sexual functioning (or your partner's) is changing at this time of life, you can start adapting your mind and body so that your sex life stays fresh.
John Bancroft, M.D., a sex therapist and director of the Kinsey Institute For Sex, Gender & Reproduction at Indiana University in Bloomington, Indiana, recommends that midlife couples communicate more and be more direct, both verbally and physically. "If men and women can be vulnerable and honest about their changes in sexual functioning or their emotional needs without being humiliated, that's a powerful binding experience; this is the test of a relationship," he says.
For instance, "Women need to know that in midlife, it's totally normal for them to experience vaginal dryness and thinning vaginal walls," says Judith Seifer, Ph.D., R.N., director of Behavioral Medicine at the West Virginia School of Osteopathic Medicine in Lewisburg, West Virginia. "They can benefit from using vaginal lubrication and their partners will derive pleasure from this, too," says Dr. Seifer, a certified sex therapist and past president of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists. She also notes that many women find their sexual response and pleasure is improved with low-dose hormone replacement therapy.
As for midlife men, they need to know that it's natural to experience softer erections, and that it may take them longer to get erect. In other words, taking Viagra may not always be necessary; in fact, it's also unnatural. Dr. Lawrence notes, "Men can have an orgasm without an erection, it doesn't have to be hard in order to penetrate and give their partner pleasure." It's worth noting that men should see a urologist specializing in male urology if they have urgent concerns about sexual functions. In the meantime, men can revamp their sex lives by trying the following, says Dr. Lawrence: "...have more oral sex, more sensual massage, mutual masturbation, and shower or bathe together...good sex encompasses so much more than intercourse." Next >
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