Top 5 Reasons Sex Can Get Better With Age |
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4. Romantic, Arousing Environments
Research conducted by Dr. McIlvenna and others has found that the physical setting of intimate encounters becomes more important to our sexual fulfillment as we age.
This is presumably because midlife lovers are often less lust-activated than they were in their 20s, when they could begin making passionate love after just a few seconds of foreplay. The increased need in midlife to set the sexual scene may also be related to that ancient enemy of hot sex: familiarity.
To find new excitement, you must change the setting, Dr. Seifer urges. "Grope each other in the garage, have a quickie in the shower, or dare each other to do it in the backyard." she says. "Some of the couples I see say that early in their relationships, they had wild heavy petting sessions in the back seat of the car. I tell them to try this again, stopping short of intercourse." Because hygiene sometimes becomes an afterthought to people who have been married a long time, Dr. Seifer notes, "Never underestimate the value of a shower or freshly brushed teeth to help seduce. Clean skin and fresh breath are turn-ons."
So is phone sex, says Dr. Lawrence. "It takes time and energy to set the scene. Phone sex can be great; you can talk about what you're going to do to him or her when they get home, so you're setting the scene well in advance and creating sexual tension." For those who need a big scene shift, getting out of the house and going to a motel can be very romantic. Dr. Lawrence reports that some of her clients like to check into a hotel and order a room service dinner to create the backdrop for a romantic evening.
Sensory pleasures such as beautiful background music, scented candles, or fresh flowers next to the bed may also spark sensual fires, says Dr. Lawrence. "Get charged up by wearing silk robes or lingerie, wearing perfume, taking bubble baths together, or slow dancing," she adds.
If you're too busy to stock up on the aforementioned accessories, then use your erotic wiles. Surprise your partner in the middle of the afternoon by initiating sex on the stairs. Greet your lover when he or she gets home with a big hug and a kiss. Close the front door and drive them wild right then and there. "Whatever works, works," says Dr. McIlvenna. "It's up to you to set the mood any way you like and then enjoy each other." Next >
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