13 Sex Myths Busted

Think you're in-the-know about sex and can weed out fact from fiction? Here, we bust 13 still-common myths about the dirty deed. 

1. Men have a higher sex drive than women. Sex drive is fueled by testosterone, which men have in higher levels than women. So it's easy to assume that all men are permanently on sexual standby.

But according to Relate sex and relationships counselor Denise Knowles, the reality is quite different. "Men are increasingly reporting lower sex drives and much of it could be lifestyle-related. Sexual interest isn't just about hormones.

A man may have normal levels, but if he's tired or stressed, that'll have an effect on desire. Also aging, obesity, smoking, alcohol and recreational drugs have a direct effect on a man's ability to have an erection."

Added to that, it's no longer taboo for women to enjoy sex. "Women now know much more about how their bodies work and how to enjoy themselves in bed. As a result, they're more predatory and often as sexually motivated as men."

2. Female orgasm can help a woman conceive. The theory behind this myth is that vaginal contractions during the woman's orgasm help the sperm on its journey to fertilize the egg. "In reality, if the sperm weren't motile (capable of movement), the contractions wouldn't be strong enough to move it towards the egg," says Dr. Dawn Harper.

3. Condoms protect against all STDs. If used correctly, condoms offer total protection against some sexually transmitted infections (STIs) such as HIV, gonorrhea and chlamydia, but they can't fully prevent syphilis, genital herpes or warts.

Dr. Patrick French, consultant at Mortimer Market Center GUM (genito-urinary medicine) clinic in London explains, "These infections are passed on through skin-to-skin contact and may affect areas not covered by a condom. A person may also be infected even if there are no obvious rashes or sores. However, condoms will still reduce transmission risk by around 50 percent."

If you're starting a new relationship, the safest option is for you both to get a full STD checkup.

4. Not all women have a G-spot. Every woman has a G-spot -- however, it's far from a magic, multiple-orgasm button waiting to be pressed. While stimulation does the trick for some women, it just makes others feel like they need to go to the bathroom.

"The real myth is that we've hyped up the G-spot orgasm to be the ultimate experience, and when we don't have it, we feel let down," says Denise Knowles. "The key is to relax and explore what makes you orgasm, rather than pressurizing your partner."

5. If he pulls out, I won't get pregnant. This myth leads to thousands of unwanted pregnancies every year. "Sperm are present in the seminal fluid, which is released before the man ejaculates, so even if he withdraws his penis before orgasm, his partner could still [get pregnant]," says Dr. Dawn Harper.

6. You can't get STDs from oral sex. Wrong -- although it's less common. STDs that can be passed on through oral sex include herpes, syphilis, chlamydia, gonorrhea and nonspecific urethritis (NSU), an inflammation of the urethra (the tube where urine comes out) that only affects men.

And it's possible to catch HIV through oral sex if you have cuts or sores in your mouth, though there are few proven instances of this.

"If you're worried, you can use flavored condoms for women," advises Dr. French.

7. Women no longer have sex after menopause. Far from going off it, many post-menopausal women are having their best sex ever.

"They often feel liberated to enjoy sex without the fear of pregnancy or the stress of bringing up children," says Denise. Also today's generation of 50-plus women are healthier than their predecessors, and the advent of hormone replacement therapy (HRT) means many women aren't plagued with the low sex drive and vaginal dryness often associated with the change in hormones around this time.

8. You can't get pregnant when you have your period.
Women ovulate 14 days before a period -- not 14 days after the last
one. "So it's feasible that if your next period is going to come early,
you may be preparing another egg towards the end of your current
period," explains Dr. Dawn Harper. "Some women also experience
mid-cycle bleeding, so you could mistake it for a period, but it would
be just the time that you're fertile."

9. The risk for getting HIV is declining. This is a dangerous
assumption to make. HIV is one of the fastest-growing serious health
conditions. Aat the end of 2004, 415,193 people were living with AIDS
in the United States and many cases are from heterosexual sex.

Fortunately, drug treatment has increased the life expectancy
of sufferers, but there's still no cure, and the virus can become
drug-resistant. HIV damages the immune system, leaving it vulnerable to
attack from serious infection.

10. A same-sex fantasy must mean I'm gay. Same-sex fantasies are
totally normal and have no bearing on whether you're gay, bisexual or
straight. "This sort of fantasy is about curiosity," says Denise. "Just
because you fantasize about something doesn't necessarily mean you'd
enjoy the reality, but the wonderful thing is that fantasy is only in
your head."

11. Sex is bad for people with heart disease. Stories of people
having heart attacks during sex hit the headlines now and again, so is
it dangerous for anyone with heart disease?

Dr. Dawn Harper explains, "People with heart disease should be
able to lead a completely normal sex life. Even people who've had a
heart attack can normally resume their sex lives within two or three
weeks unless there are complications. However, if you suffer from chest
pain during sex, you should stop immediately and see your doctor."

On the whole, Dr. Harper says sex does more good than harm. "It
boosts your immune system and is good for stress levels and energy,"
she says.

12. It's bad sex if I don't have an orgasm. Experts agree that
good sex doesn't have to end in orgasm for either or both partners
every time. The important bit is whether you've both enjoyed it. And,
believe it or not, it's possible you may actually miss it.

"An orgasm may consist of anything from one to 15 muscular
contractions over an eight-second period. If you only have two
contractions, you may well not notice it," explains Denise Knowles.

However, according to the Sexual Dysfunction Association, 12
percent of women never have an orgasm. And both women and men may lose
the ability to orgasm, due to medical reasons such as diabetes or heart
disease, or emotional reasons such as anxiety.

13. Sex during pregnancy might hurt the baby. The majority of
pregnant women can carry on having a healthy sex life throughout their
pregnancy. However, according to Dr. Dawn Harper, there are two
exceptions. "If you have placenta previa, where the placenta is lying
right over the cervix, sex could cause bleeding and a premature labor.
Also, it's best to avoid sex if you've had bleeding or contractions
after intercourse as this could bring on early labor," she explains.

Source: Daily Mirror (London). Powered by Yellowbrix.

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