A Mrs. Misses Her Mr.

Dear Dr. Betty,

I recently started working a graveyard shift and see my husband very seldomly. I've never been a very sexual person, but lately I've had these urges and have been masturbating a lot. I also seem to get very excited after a good workout. Do you think there's anything wrong with me and should I continue to masturbate when I feel this strange urge? -C.

Dear C.,

Strange urge? Not so. What you're feeling is perfectly natural. But why now and what do you want to do with your new arousal? What's happening besides the exercise? Knowing that sex is a function of our brains, bodies and hormones, what's going on at your new job to arouse your brain or body? Is work or someone at work so stimulating?

Exercise is very empowering. It produces endorphins -- hormones that circulate throughout our bodies and make us feel oh-so-good. The result can be a greater need to gratify our sexual selves, which is what you're experiencing.

Pleasuring yourself is also empowering. It allows you to feel your sexuality, engage in an act of self-love, offer sexual release and discover how your body responds. If you choose to, you can transfer this information to the sexual relationship you have with your husband.

The Impact of the Night Shift: 26 percent of the U.S. labor force works during the night shift, which can challenge any relationship.

Your relationship is suffering as a consequence of your different work
schedules. If you'd like to deal with your out-of-sync hours and
satisfy your sexual needs together, follow these recommendations:

1. Talk:
If you have any time off together, schedule a time to talk about your
feelings. Factor in quiet time where you're free from interruptions
and have an honest dialogue where you can each share your needs.

2. Schedule:
After several discussions, put together a concrete list of what you do
24 hours a day for one week. Compare lists and notice when there are
times that you're both not working. What are you doing during this free
time?

3. Negotiate: If you have young children at
home, then time with them is important. However, prioritize time
together so that your marital situation can thrive with your offbeat
hours. Discuss which solo activities each of you is willing to give up
during your time away from work. For instance, you love exercising.
That's great, but think about decreasing exercise time and devoting
more time to your spouse.

4. Be Creative: Give each other ideas for activities to share in
your together time. For example, have a romantic dinner out and spend a
few hours dancing, looking at the stars, or just reminiscing about your
early years together.

5. Put Your Plan in Writing: In your 24/7 day list, write in your new, together-time activities.

6. Take Your Time:
You can't implement this plan all at once, but rather step by step. It
would be a terrific idea to construct a new together time plan each
week. This'll take time and commitment, but that's what relationship
building is all about!

You have these wonderful, sensual, and
sexual feelings. Satisfy yourself and your relationship and you'll
find fulfillment in all areas of your life.

Exercise & sex...what's the real connection? Find out. Take the quiz.