Dear Dr. Betty,
I recently started working a graveyard shift and see my husband very seldomly. I've never been a very sexual person, but lately I've had these urges and have been masturbating a lot. I also seem to get very excited after a good workout. Do you think there's anything wrong with me and should I continue to masturbate when I feel this strange urge? -C.
Dear C.,
Strange urge? Not so. What you're feeling is perfectly natural. But why now and what do you want to do with your new arousal? What's happening besides the exercise? Knowing that sex is a function of our brains, bodies and hormones, what's going on at your new job to arouse your brain or body? Is work or someone at work so stimulating?
Exercise is very empowering. It produces endorphins -- hormones that circulate throughout our bodies and make us feel oh-so-good. The result can be a greater need to gratify our sexual selves, which is what you're experiencing.
Pleasuring yourself is also empowering. It allows you to feel your sexuality, engage in an act of self-love, offer sexual release and discover how your body responds. If you choose to, you can transfer this information to the sexual relationship you have with your husband.
Sexual Solo UrgesThe Impact of the Night Shift: 26 percent of the U.S. labor force works during the night shift, which can challenge any relationship.
Your relationship is suffering as a consequence of your different workschedules. If you'd like to deal with your out-of-sync hours andsatisfy your sexual needs together, follow these recommendations: 1. Talk:If you have any time off together, schedule a time to talk about yourfeelings. Factor in quiet time where you're free from interruptionsand have an honest dialogue where you can each share your needs.2. Schedule:After several discussions, put together a concrete list of what you do24 hours a day for one week. Compare lists and notice when there aretimes that you're both not working. What are you doing during this freetime?3. Negotiate: If you have young children athome, then time with them is important. However, prioritize timetogether so that your marital situation can thrive with your offbeathours. Discuss which solo activities each of you is willing to give upduring your time away from work. For instance, you love exercising.That's great, but think about decreasing exercise time and devotingmore time to your spouse.4. Be Creative: Give each other ideas for activities to share inyour together time. For example, have a romantic dinner out and spend afew hours dancing, looking at the stars, or just reminiscing about yourearly years together.
5. Put Your Plan in Writing: In your 24/7 day list, write in your new, together-time activities. 6. Take Your Time:You can't implement this plan all at once, but rather step by step. Itwould be a terrific idea to construct a new together time plan eachweek. This'll take time and commitment, but that's what relationshipbuilding is all about!You have these wonderful, sensual, andsexual feelings. Satisfy yourself and your relationship and you'llfind fulfillment in all areas of your life. Exercise & sex...what's the real connection? Find out. Take the quiz.
Source: Relationships & Love
