A Refresher Course in Smooching

"Kissing is like riding a bike -- once you learn how to smooch, you never forget," says Joanne, 53 and married. But while the mechanics of kissing come naturally, we often forget the emotional and spiritual powers of a simple kiss.

"Our experience of security and sensuality begins in infancy as we are held while we nurse -- the sucking experience, the use of tongue and lips," says Dr. Leonore Tiefer, a professor of psychiatry at New York University.

Later in life, kissing helps to form an emotional bond and a sense of security between partners, says Tiefer. "Every kiss from infancy on reverberates with deeply felt echoes of attachment, pleasure and good feelings, giving kissing its emotional power," she says.

Look back at the romances in your life, and chances are you'll remember the kisses as much as the sex, so don't forgo this most romantic of sexual behaviors in a race to intercourse. Kissing is a simple, passionate way to keep love and desire alive.

When kissing, gently explore your partner's mouth, varying the rhythm and motions. Enjoy surprising each other with soft bites and sucks on the lower lip, and open your eyes occasionally to read your lover's emotions.

You can suck the whole mouth to create a tingly vacuum effect. Pull away with an Eskimo kiss or tickly butterfly kisses (batting your eyelashes on your partner's cheek). For a playful touch, give your partner pecks all over the face and neck.

Patty, 56, who's single, says, "Lunging with the tongue is gross, but a gentle touch is yummy. Kissing the hand is really romantic. And most importantly, kissing is more intimate than sex, so it must be special!"

In "The Great American Sex Diet" (HarperCollins, 2001), author Laura Corn suggests that kisses are not limited to your partner's lips: "Start your kiss on his toes, then move up slowly -- calves, back of the knees, thighs, derrière. Follow with one long, slow lick from cheeks to neck. Electrifying!"

When it comes down to it, there's no right or wrong way to kiss. Just follow your creative intuition and passion, and enjoy the ride!

- - - - -

Need to find a kissing partner? Improve your odds with our guide to 22 ways to flirt!