How soon?

How soon?

I am dating, looking for someone to perhaps spend the rest of my life with. Before I spend a lot of time with very nice men, dinners, movies, ball games, concerts, all of the regular dating things, I want to know if we are compatible intimate partners.

Sex is still very much a part of my life; I have been fortunate in that I have had a few men with whom there was a lot of sexual excitement and satisfaction, but the relationships did not turn into permanent ones, geography and other things prevented it.

 My question is: How long is long enough before discussing sex with a date, and how long before we actually engage each other in intimacy? I don't want to appear to be a slut, but it is important that I know how things will be before I seriously consider anything long-term.

 I'm sure there are opinions out there...I'd like to hear from both men and women on the issue.