The Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Discussion...Hosted by Monroe

What about the straight spouses? What becomes of us? When a spouse "decides they are gay" or have known it all along, but "hid" in a marriage, do you realize the pain that inflicts on the straight spouse who has many years of a "sham" marriage to look back on. The gays usually leave, without the kids, leaving the straight spouse to clean up after the mess they have created and the devastation they have left in their "coming out". The straight spouse has a "sham past", a horrible present, and their future dreams have been taken away because their spouse never decided to tell them the truth. Where is your honor? Where is your loyalty to you family? To your children? How can you meet someone of the same sex and leave your family and the children you brought into this world just for gay sex? Please, if anyone even THINKS they are gay, DO NOT even CONSIDER getting married and ruining lives and families ... leave the straights alone to find people worthy of their love.

Well as of June 13, 2001 I have accepted my desire to love women. I have been cheated on, poked around and beaten far too long by the male species. I am looking for something different. 37, mother of two, like to get my freak on.

My wife does not want sex any more. Now I am starting to cross dress win womens lingerie and having bi sexual relations.I love the feel of womens panites and lingerie on my body. I mostly masterbate, but would love to find a women in her 50s or older that still wants a real sexual relationship. I need a woman that will tell me and show me real sexual relationship 24 hrs a day. I want a woman that will not look down bu look forward to have I guess a reale good relationship. Is there any women out that that enjoys seducing a man? I feel I am coming to the cross roads an am thinking of just getting in the car and leaving. 18 Feb 2001

Hello all:

I highly suggest you seek out and read the following book:

"STILL DOING IT: Women and Men over 60 write about their sexuality" edited by Joani Blank has just been published.

I think you will find it very interesting.

It can be purchased from amazon.com or ask for it at your local book store.

Enjoy.

Hello cutiepie329:

Check out the following URLs -- you might find something which will give you a greater understanding of your feelings...

Bisexual Options on the Net

http://www.bisexual.org/

Anything tha Moves:

http://www.anythingthatmoves.com/

to you arthur93.
Hope you find what you want here. There's not been much traffic on this Forum, so we could certainly use some new blood.

I'm a 42 yr old trans man [FTM] looking for ...discussion.:-)
Very happy to have found Third Age.

Dear LLD5 and others: happy that you discovered and like this Forum. The traffic has been sort of slow for a number of months. It would be great to get something going.

All to many people are concerned about the Souls of other people and can't keep their noses out of the affairs of humans...many of thse people are Christian and yet they forget one of the quotes from Luke 20:25; i.e. "Then render to caesar the things that are Caesar's and to God the things that are God's"

Allow people to love whomever they wish and find joy in their lives in whatever way they can.

PS
What does Y/O mean?

I would like to locate new friends in SE Michigan. I'm located in Auburn Hills and available for daytime meetings.

Ron

Dear velvette and others:

If you live near a large metropolitan area you may be able to find a support group very much like one would at the Pacific Center.
http://www.pacificcenter.org/

I highly suggest going to the web page of -- Anything That Moves
http://www.anythingthatmoves.com/

Their resource list is enormous!

I am a 35 year old married woman. I've been married since the age of 16 (all my life). For a while now I find myself attracted to women. I have never allowed these urges to manefest though. But it's making curious about bisexual relationships with women. Do bisexual women always take on "roles"? I have so many questions. I'm curious.

Although I detest the term as being derogatory to the gay male involved, I have been a happy FH as long as I can remember. No advice, no problem. Would love to read messages from others though. Is there a problem?

I've come to the conclusion that I'm a confirmed fag hag. That, contrary to popular belief, this is not a person who is affraid of her sexuality, but one who appreciates the qualities exhibited by a certain type of man. I eagerly watch all movies featuring a gay character, and realize that my tendency will not necessarily enhance my life. But it is just who I am. Are there any other fag hags out there who have any advice to give me?

I kinda know how ya feel Will. Although I'm not married I also can relate to the rest of your problem. I guess WE just have to hang in and hope for the best. Good luck buddy, hope everything will turn out ok for you. Best wishes,

Joe

I guess I'm still in shock -- but you are right Schubert. I'm going to do just that.

Dear OWHN:

Don't you think it would be a good idea to seek out some counseling; either couples counseling or individual counseling for yourself. Being a UCC minister I would think that you have many connections.

I would think that whatever you do should be just fine as long as it's consensual. If it works, do it!

I think it's great to have close friends.

To Schubert:

Yes, you are correct that I'm female.

The question I'm exploring is whether such a companionship could be mutually satisfying, on the chance that both parties should find themselves alone.

We are not young, and there are an awful lot of elderly people who live alone.

For me, I know it could, because my focus is on the emotional rather than the physical aspect. I've had an awful amount sex, the 'mechanics' of which were efficient, but never really 'touched' me emotionally.

Now the reverse is true. I feel so emotionally in tune even without physical contact. This is novel. What a beautiful way to end my life. I would, however, like to know that there is something I could 'give' in return.

I don't think it should be a surprise that people who are committed to each other want to get married; regardless of their orientation. This society pushes marriage as a symbol of commitment. It's considered the norm for the vast majority of Americans.

The various religious denominations generally feel that same-gender marriage is not acceptable. Many Christian denominations, in particular, want to prevent such marriages. For some reason these individuals and groups think that only they can sanctify marriage and that this can ONLY BE between two people of the opposite sex. Since marriage is a social construct, I would think we can define marriage in any way we desire it to be.

I found that standing up in front of a group of my friends and relatives further solidified the relationship between my spouse and me. We were just married last April after living together for 7 years.

There are also legal reasons for formalizing any relationship. Even if same-gender marriage is not recognized in one's state, getting married formalizes the relationship. In the advent of death or disability of one of the partners, marriage solves the property issues which may be contested by family members. I would think this would be true even among marriage between individuals of the same gender.

Family members might have to learn to just love their relatives and accept who they are and who they choose to be partnered with. This means accepting their relatives choices, regardless of sexual orientation, race, ethnic origin, religion or whatever. Life is too short to practice denial and push away our loved ones.

Isn't it?

I am in the process of really searching for an answer. I thought that I accepted gay people although I am very hetrosexual. However, a situation has come up which makes me question whether or not I really do accept alternative life styles. Possibly someone here could help me to understand.

My wife has a cousin (female) who is in her 50's. She was previously married and the union produced two children who are now in their early 20's. Several years ago she and her husband divorced and immediately after they separated another woman moved into the house. They have been living together now for several years and, while we have suspected that there was a lesbian relationship, no one ever questioned this. The other day we received a wedding invitation to a marriage between the two women.

I am having a real problem as to why they feel it is necessary to take this step. This has really split the family and the comment from the woman's mother was, "I wish I could have lived the rest of my years without knowing this".

I would appreciate your comments with the hope that they will help me to understand why these two women feel it necessary to "marry" and send out invitations to all members of the family. Why couldn't they just continue with the status quo?

I am not transgender but would like to just talk to a transgender person. Friendship only