How much?

My husband and I have been married 31 years, we're both 54. We both had high sex drives until he was diagnosed with diabetes and started having problems with ED, that was 10 years ago. Our sexual activity has gone, down, down, down, even though I've made it very clear that an erection is NOT mandatory, and have been very sensitive to his feelings during all of this, nada. Now, after a quadruple bypass, we can go two weeks or more with no sex. It is killing our marriage, it is almost the ONLY way we are intimate. He has NO libido and will not talk to a doctor. He used to have sex on the brain all of the time and now I can tell he doesn't even think that way any longer. I, on the other hand, could have sex twice a day every day, but it just isn't happening. His doctor told him it was one of life's cruel ironies...........just when your wife is very interested, you won't be. I don't buy it, this guy is a GP, but hubby won't go to any other doctor. It just sucks and is really killing my marriage.

You don't sound like a good match. He sounds extremely selfish as well.

Depends on the participants. Often enough to keep both happy and if that isn't an option then perhaps discussion is called for or a different relationship but communication is key.
I've heard that Birthdays and Christmas is sufficient for some but others need 3 or 4 orgasms a day, who can say who is right, a very interesting question.

I honestly don't think there is any magical number. It completely depends on the couple. My husband and I have been together for 30 years. I, personally, just turned 63 yrs and my husband will be 67 yrs soon. He has a higher sex drive than myself and always has, even though I have always been "hot to trot". Sex has always been an important ingredient in our relationship. My theory? When I don't feel like it, many times I have sex with him anyway. Once I get started the rest is very pleasant. I believe women, since it seems to be women mostly who lose their interest, need to understand that not only do (usually) men like it more, but what a compliment to us that our men still want us. This is one of the most common reasons men leave. They don't feel important.

Soo, "how much" is the question? We have sex anywhere from 2 to 4 times per week. That is down from 5 to 7 times per week when we were younger. The "ole bod" can only take so much afterall.

My suggestion to this gentleman in his 50s is bring the romance back. Take your wife out to dinner; bring her spontaneous flowers now and again, with a lovely card. Leave her little notes around, like in the kitchen or bathroom saying, "I love you", or "I appreciate you." or "Have a great day, looking forward to seeing you tonight." Suggest a romantic get away for the weekend now and again. Don't "expect" sex or you will end up with less or none because that brings on the pressure and we hate pressure. Give her a massage. Very relaxing and great foreplay. Be innovative.

Seems to me that "timetable" sex avoids the real issue, especially with established, comfortable relation ships. If a couple sleeps together comfortably, cuddles and embraces, the notion of sex has more "love" to it than it does the short period of "bliss" which, according to authorities takes about three minutes. We should know (males especially) that the "release" comfort of masturbation is typically followed by a lot of emotional, loving feeling even it takes the form of sleep. We are also told that females suffer frustration from the selfish male act of self-satisfaction. How best to combine it all into one package unrelated to the calendar?

My partner is a 69 yr. old gentleman with Parkinson's. He has an extremely high sex drive. I do as well. However, I have health issues that get in the way. I am not complaining.

I am a mature gal,but still a very younthful and sexy one....Was married 20 yrs.first time,jst a kid when I married,My Hubby taught Me fantastic sex,and He loved Oral Sex,which made Me ready and have multi.org.s.......He began drinkng,and I divorced Him after almost 20 yrs.I married second Hubby,and We had a great marriage also,GREAT SEX,again oral sex was an important foreplay,as I am slow to warm up,but after alot of oral sex,I AM A TIGRESS ! I have NEVER KNOWN A MAN THAT DIDN'T GO A LIL CRAZY ABOUT ORAL SEX,I THOUGHT ALL MEN WERE TURNED ON BY THIS.........well,EVIDENTLY NOT ....CUZ,NOW I AM DUMBFOUNDED .....Problem now is.......Ths guy I am seeing now,is totally in love with me,but at 73,and although He looks and acts much younger,He has to be the dumbest man on earth about sex.........He thinks Oral Sex is ...quote :dirty,vulgar,and nasty..........He wants sex every time we're together,and it's SLAM /BAM /THANK U MAM.............WITH HUGE,GREAT FULLFILLMENT "FOR HIM ",AND TO HELL WITH ME.............HE CAN'T LAST LONG ENOUGH TO EVEN GET ME CLOSE TO ORGASM,AND ORAL SEX TO HIM IS TWO MINUTES AT THE " Y ",and that's an EFFORT FOR HIM.........sigh..........so,I told him ,NO SEX,LET'S JST KEEP IT PLATONIC........He thinks I'm some sort of PERVERT.............
So,oponions.........pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
p.s.........by the way,I AM A CLEAN FREAK ABOUT MY BODY,AND HE KNOW THIS,I ALWAYS AM FRESH AND CLEAN AND SWEET SMELLING,I COULD UNDERSTAND IT IF I WASN'T...............IS THIS NORMAL ?

Since a back injury my sex life has all but stopped. I can and do still masterbate about 1X per week but I no longer date out of fear of having to preform and not being able to. I would still like to find a companion . It is lonely being 62 and alone . Love your partner and enjoy them .

I'm 62 and shes 38 and I still want more than she does???

Sex is important to me. I'm one of the lucky who finds it wonderful to live and breathe next to my husband, The children are grown and on their own and I'm enjoying being the person I used to be!

hi guys n girlz, i m 23, nd i had 6 girlfriends so far, had sex with 5 of them,, i loved all of them, spent 5 nigths and a four day trip with 3rd one, had sex with her abt 15 times during that trip., i just loved it..........?

Male, Age-about 42, young compared to some of the responders I've read. Average intimacy, 1 per month for the last 2 or 3 years. Kids in HS/MS. I help around the house, do dishes, trash, vacuum, scrub, clean bathrooms, etc. I've done and will continue to do the random flowers or cards, etc. So, am I expecting too much for a slight increase in intimacy, or is this all there ever will be and can I expect it to decrease? I love my wife, but am seriously frustrated with the situation.

i left my hubby about 9 years ago, i had put up with the lack of attention and respect for to long. The only sex i got ,was a quicky every month,
So i started an internet afaire with a man across the world, my hubby didn't like that but he never took any action to win me back.
He only kept on telling me that i had to stay because no one else would be atracted to me anyway. So i left and within 3 weeks i had my first lover.
Now I am 51, and i have 3 married lovers, that i see at least 1ce a week each. They are all unique, but my favorite one is the one that starts with his foreplay in the morning with an sms, that goes on till 3or 4 till he comes over, and believe me , i am so ready for him than.
My ex allways said that having sex with me was like having sex with an irioningboard, but my lovers say that i am the most hot and sexy female they have ever had. That has nothing to do with how you look or what size you are. I am a bbw One lover is 63, one is 51 and one is 28.
So now i get alll the sex i want and that is more than what i got when i was still married

I submitted the following answer in another forum about menopause but thought it might fit here too.

I posted this on another board but after finding this one I would like to share it here too.

Attention & Tender Touch
IMHO, most women crave attention, especially in the form of touch. I am nine years younger than my wife (51 & 60) and when she went through "the change" about 4-8 years ago I thought she might kill me. In self defense I started being more sensitive to her comments, "my feet hurt", "my neck hurts", "I have cramps", etc. and I started to quickly respond with appropriate touch. I searched around at Bath and Body and on the Internet and equipped myself with some nice body specific products such as foot lotion, body lotion and various calming essential oils such as lavender, patchouli, etc. as well as some base oils such as Jojoba. I learned to mix my own massage oils and neck/shoulder rubs, foot rubs and back and belly rubs soon became a regular part of our lives. In fact I became more adept and was soon providing full body massages which she really loves and really seem to relax her. My wife has consistently expressed appreciation for all of this increased touching and intimacy and has said that it really helped her keep her sanity through those years. Speaking of intimacy...another thing that we discovered that really helped her relax was plenty of long, touching foreplay and lots of orgasms. This opened up a whole new area of our intimate life that was focused on her pleasure and satisfaction, instead of my orgasms. She is not "multi-orgasmic" but starting during that time and still today she enjoys at least two or three orgasms a day (not bragging, but last weekend 10!) brought on my my manual or oral stimulation. Over those same years she has learned that by limiting/controlling my orgasms I have been more highly motivated to tend to her needs. I also want everyone to understand that this has so enriched my life too. Rather than just enjoying my own 30 second orgasm I have grown so much closer to her that I actually feel like I share her orgasms. I hope this doesn't offend any really tough guys out there. Just for the record, I am about 6', 250, can (and do) walk 10 miles in 2.5 hours, can still bench my weight and spent over twenty years serving my country all over the world as a combat soldier.

I've just remarried almost a year ago. I am 62 and he will be 60 next week. I enjoy our sex life and we ebb and flow. Sometimes its everday and then other times we might go a week or two.....and as long as we're both ok with that...that's ok!

Of course, I told my husband when we are in our 70's i wanted to still be able to get it on

Of course, I told my husband when we are in our 70's i wanted to still be able to get it on

I think sex is a passion and there is no regulations for such desires as long as it is within mutual satisfaction.
As long as there is a drive sex is most welcome and without taboos Any kind of sex is Fine

Having kids gone and having good health is a time
to have intimacy and sexual spontaneity. However,
sexual spontaneity and intimacy may need some
re-development if responsibilities and lack of privacy
have managed to put intimacy into the background.
I hope you all can get your intimacy back on track. You all are missing out on a great deal of pleasure and bonding of your relationship.

Intimacy can now take place almost anytime, any
place in the residence; not just the bedroom.

Go for it !!!

We love to play. Lay down in the afternoon and I start playing with her clit and she pats my instrument. I suck her nips and if things keep going we have normal or fun sex. BTW, we celebrated our 50th anniversary last november.

We love to play. Lay down in the afternoon and I start playing with her clit and she pats my instrument. I suck her nips and if things keep going we have normal or fun sex. BTW, we celebrated our 50th anniversary last november.

Well, after reading the past comments, I have to throw in my 2 cents here...
I went through a divorce after 24 years of marriage because I was not getting any sex...and I'm talking about for years here folks!
Sorry ladies, but men not only think about sex more than most women, but also need it more, and while we men can be understanding about women able to go weeks without sex standing on their heads, it DOES NOT diminish the fact that lack of sex will lead to problems. The notion of a variety of excuses for longer and longer dry spells is just that – excuses. Why do you think when men go through their famous “mid-life” crisis’s, one aspect usually involves the desire for a fit and sex-filled woman? (young or older!).
In my case, I woke up to the fact that at 51, I was in excellent health, with a very fit and muscular body, and built by Ford "down there" that I was not going to let go to waste. Nobody wants to look back on their life when they are in their rocking chair with regrets on what they could have done, and I for one, am looking out for a that one woman who believes in fitness and keeping those fires burning hot! - the essence of a solid relationship....once a week??!...sorry, but I’ve met women who would feel neglected and be insulted by that rate...and so would I!