Expert Advice: Can Tantra Bring Back the Spark?

Question: I don't love my husband anymore and have no desire for intimacy. Can Tantra help bring back the love?

Answer: There's a myriad of reasons why you might say you're no longer in love with your husband. It's noteworthy, however, that you are asking if anything can be done to help save your relationship.

Love genuinely loses its luster when people:

  • don't feel heard or understood
  • don't feel cared for
  • no longer have common goals
  • feel as though they have lost their freedom
  • no longer trust their partner

When any of these things happen, the communication stops. But, while all the stresses of life can send relationships in a kind of a downward spiral, Tantra can help that same spiral move upward in an expansive motion.

Tantric practices begin with the simplest of exercises to get us 100 percent present with our partner. Eye-gazing into the soul, learning new touch techniques and experiencing just breathing and being together all expand our senses. We have a chance to start over, with innocence and presence.

Here's one exercise you can try: Ask your partner to sit across from you and softly eye-gaze for five minutes. Then lie down together in the spoon position, with you in the front. He should place an arm over you and hold your heart gently. The two of you should then breathe together. Stay in this position for five minutes and have him follow your breath. Finally, sit up and take turns saying one thing that's both vulnerable and the truth. The other partner shouldn't respond except to say "thank you." You can talk about it the next day.

If you can, take a weekend or week-long class together. It'll be the best-spent vacation and couples therapy money can buy. If this isn't possible, make a plan together that satisfies your goals. Begin to meditate, do couples yoga, study and create fun practices that will enliven your relationship. Tantric techniques open the heart and build the kind of trust that sets each of you free to be who you really are in your sexual, emotional and spiritual relationship. Open, joyful communication begins when this trust is rebuilt. The adventure of life begins again as a journey you take together.
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Source: Relationships & Love

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