Expert Advice: Comparing Husband No. 1 and Husband No. 2 in the Bedroom

QUESTION: I'm 48 and have been married to my second husband for 11 years. We have an 8-year-old daughter.

My first husband was a very passionate man and treated me like a sex goddess in bed. Nothing was ever too much trouble for him.

We might still be together if it wasn't for his gambling habit. Even when we divorced, he'd come to me for sex, and I couldn't resist him.

The problem is, my present husband and I don't seem to click sexually. He doesn't like foreplay and spends little time pleasing me. I miss the passion and sexual experimentation.

It's been months since we've had sex. I don't want to continue this nonsexual relationship, but I don't want mechanical sex, either. How can we fix things so we both get what we want?

ANSWER: What messages have you been sending out to your present husband?

Your first one clearly had it all worked out when it came to sex andromance, but it's not fair to keep comparing his efforts to those ofyour current man. I suspect he already feels he's constantly on trialto deliver a good performance and, if he thinks he's second-best, thatcould explain why he hasn't bothered even to try to move up to a highergear.

Forget about what's bad in your sex life. You should be talking about what feels good for both of you -- not just you.

Sometimes indulging in a good old-fashioned quickie can be fun,so don't knock it out of the equation altogether. There's a time andplace for everything in sex.If you have to, make a foreplay appointment in advance. Somepeople may say sex should be spontaneous, but if sex never happens oris always hurried, where's the fun in that?Foreplay includes a huge variety of activities from kissing andcuddling to oral sex. A sensual massage would be a good way to slowthings down and introduce your husband to the joys of foreplay ...Source: Daily Mirror. Powered by YellowBrix.
1 2 Next
Source: Relationships & Love

Print Article