How frequently (and how volubly) do women fake having an orgasm? It’s impossible to really know, since fakers don’t usually tell the truth about their faking. And why should they? If you’re already into the habit of dissembling, what would be the point of coming clean?
Speaking from my own experience and the experiences of women who confide in me, I can safely say that almost every woman has at some time pretended to have an orgasm when she didn’t. No doubt because of my professional expertise about sex, lots of women, many of them virtually strangers, confide in me what’s going on with them sexually. They feel, quite rightly, that their secrets are safe. What I do know is that many women sometimes fake their pleasure.
Why fake? Well, sometimes because it’s the kindest thing to do, and the best way to get back to sleep. How is it kind, even an act of generosity, to pretend you had an orgasm when you didn’t? Because your partner wants to know you’re satisfied, because your satisfaction is a large part of his pleasure.
Other reasons why women fake have more to do with ego. Theirs, not his. Pretending you’ve had an orgasm allows you to hold on to your belief (and your public image) that you’re super hot and sexy. It keeps the image intact that you’re “all woman,” i.e. highly sexed and attractive. Because what’s sexier to a man than a woman in the throes of orgasm? Not much, really, which is why images of women caught up in orgasm are among the most popular sites of pornographic traffic.
