The fact is that we have confused fertility with sexual passion and prowess. Thats because, from an evolutionary perspective, men are oriented to be attracted to fertile women so they could enhance the chances of a successful pregnancy and thus perpetuate our species. However, ladies and gentlemen think for a moment about the skills required to be a great lover. We have to know our body and know what turns us on. We need a general understanding and comfort level with the body of our partner. We must have confidence to allow ourselves to let go and travel deep into the mysterious sexual world we co-create with our lover. We must allow ourselves to relax and receive pleasure, and be willing to do what it takes to gift our partner with sexual bliss. I could go on, but you get the point. These are skills that take time to develop. The truth of the matter is that most of us are not innately born to be great lovers. Making love is an art form, and as with any art, it requires skill that we hone with time and effort. Thus, it is the women with more years of experience with their own bodies, and the bodies of others, who truly have the best chance at being an amazing bed partner.
So, the bottom line? Ladies, dont be intimated by cultural fairy tales about age and sexuality. If you are young, enjoy the innate attraction you evoke in men because of your fertility. If you are older, wear your sexual life experience like a badge of honor. Either way, there is much to enjoy between the sheets!
About the author: Marianne Brandon is a clinical psychologist and sex therapist in Annapolis,
MD. She is author of Monogamy: the Untold Story, and co-author of Reclaiming Desire: 4 keys
for Finding Your Lost Libido. You can learn more about her work at www.wellminds.com.
