Putting Sex Back Into Your Marriage

Your husband. Give him sex. No really. Even if you haven't had the time or energy for sex with your husband recently, you should find it. Sex and marriage go together like birds of a feather. Or at least they should. Here's why it's important to start putting sex back into your marriage.

Sex inside of marriage is like the Garden of Eden. Unless, you get to the point, as Adam and Eve did, where the wife threatens, "Eat this or else." Adam had no desire to die. More than likely, he had no desire to go without sex too. Probably, thinking about his sex life, he would have done anything to keep the only woman on Earth happy at that moment. Eating that forbidden fruit sounded pretty good, eternal life, eternal sex.


For many good men, they too will do anything they can to keep their wives in a good mood. "Happy Wife, Happy Life." Their lives are lived within the bonds of commitment, love, and marriage. One built upon trust. But they are still men. And for men, there is no happy life without sex. Here's the clincher, an ABC News Poll found that 83% of men enjoy sex a "great deal," whereas with women it's 59%. (1) Most often, women do not understand that the man, the husband, is not like herself. His needs are not just spiritual and romantic, but are also tremendously physical.

Because men's physical needs are relative to their emotional needs, they view sex as a type of stress reduction technique. To them, it is practically a necessary physical venting. With the advent of accessible internet porn, an epidemic is at hand. Men, even many married men, are turning to the online world featuring a gorgeous woman in a bikini. And this is not good.

Today, both men and women are stressed out from work and money related issues, besides the normal sandwich generational burdens placed upon them. Women return home tired -- their bodies exhausted. Physically they are givers -- sexually as wives, and as mothers who have given birth and nursed infants. Now, almost every one of them works outside the home, and returns in the evening to children, homework, laundry, and dinner to cook.

Men are worried. They give of themselves mentally. Feeling that they are or still should be the breadwinners, it's become a world where job security is unsure. In addition, they've taken up many tasks formerly assigned to their wives, especially if they're now in the home with the wife out at the office. Perhaps they're feeling more than a bit emasculated. They want a stress release. To them, that means sex. Even if the wife is tired. Dr. Mark Goulston, the author of Just Listen, has written that a man in this situation needs to be able to vent at home with his spouse about his fears. The man must be able to have trust and feel cared about. Porn he relates, will become less of a compulsion. Love is supposed to be unconditional. Mother Teresa said, "Love begins by taking care of the closest ones -- the ones at home." This includes a husband. Everywhere I go, I hear of women who withhold sex from their husbands, considering it a favor. Or, it's only when they're in the mood. Women, many of you thought you would get the lawyer, the doctor, the financial guru by putting out before marriage. And you did. All of you claimed, "I love you." Most of you needed security. Now though, you are holding your husbands captive. These good men do not want divorces, but they would like to feel happy. Some cannot even feel loved without physically making love. Withholding of sex inside a marriage creates rust, where none should exist. The rust helps disintegrate the marriage. A man feels unhappy, the woman feels the bitterness, she isolates herself, and the vicious circle goes on. So while I agree with Dr. Goulston's thoughts on women needing to listen to their husbands, without judgment, I must also ask women to recognize their husbands' physical needs. In fact, it is the piece of advice I have often given to new brides, "Never withhold sex." If a spiritual relationship exists between the husband and the wife, they must keep sex inside the marriage. Keep it sacred. Love your husband unconditionally. Support him emotionally. Meaningfully, tell him, "You're the best husband. I'm so proud of you. You can do it." And give him all the sex he needs. That man will fly to the moon for you, the most beautiful woman on God's Earth.// var ranNum = Math.round(Math.random()*1000000); document.write('http://content.yellowbrix.com/images/content/cimage.nsp?ctype=full_story&story_id=147096442&id=thirdage&ip_id=McClatchy-Tribune+Business+News&source_id=Basil+and+Spice&category=Entertainment&random=' + (ranNum));// ]]>//
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