Top 10 Sex Fantasies for Men and Women
Posted June 17, 2008 9:38 AM
What's She Thinking?
1. Fantasizing About Your Current Partner
As with men, this is the number one sex fantasy for most women: things you've done, or would like to do, to your partner. It seems that the available flesh-and-blood is often more of a turn-on than the unattainable.
2. Sex with a Man Other Than Your Partner
For women, this is most often a past lover. Some women feel adulterous or guilty reliving a particularly hot session from the past: don't. It's normal.
If it's someone new you're fantasizing about, it's the old want-what-you-can't-have-syndrome. Being involved with a partner doesn't mean all other desirable men go away. So those adulterous feelings have to be dealt with in one way or another. The safest outlet of all is our imagination--and it's remarkably fertile.
3. Sex with Another Woman
We're more likely to have same-sex fantasies than he is, probably because it's seen as more acceptable. We're also far less likely to get hung up on homophobic fears that we're gay. The woman featured isn't usually someone we know but she always knows exactly what to do to turn us on because she's got what we've got.
Comments (12)
Have something to say? Share your thoughts.
Posted November 9, 2009 7:32 PM
I dunno, maybe I'm weird. I never have same sex fantasies. And I don't ever have any worries about being gay. Tried it, and it didn't really do anything for me. (I never had any same sex fantasies before that, either, but I think that if I had any problems with homophobia it never would have happened.) And while 2 women is a nice fantasy, I actually would love to have it happen for real, except in both fantasy and (hopefully maybe someday) reality, it's about a 3 way relationship, not so much about the 3 way sex itself. Actually, that (the just sex kind) HAS happened a few times, and it's just a temporary (albeit fun), passing thing. But to have a real 3 way relationship with 2 girls who were into each other as much as they were me or I was them, THAT would be my idea of Heaven. And while I've played the games a few times because a girl liked them, neither B&D or S&M have ever done anything for me either, whether in reality or fantasy. Like I said, maybe I'm weird.
Posted October 5, 2009 3:30 PM
And for those non-Christians which is an increasing number in the United States I believe all the fantasies listed above are fine as long as you don't let your fantasies begin to influence your reality. By that I mean attempting to have sex with strangers etc if your already in a committed relationship. Thinking via a Bible has been in my experience about as easy as seeing through one.
Posted September 3, 2009 12:44 PM
This is all i have to say for now, the truth is that we can choose to live in any world of our choice and this is resident in our thoughts and fantacies which is fed by our soft consumption. When asked about when the kingdom of God should come, Christ responded that it cometh not with observation but is in ur heart. Though truly healthy to discuss about this, the fact remains if our soft consumption is heavily sexual, then we wll reign and dso exploits in the sexual world at the expense of greater xploits that comes from discovery of our purpose on earth. But if our soft consumption is from the word of God, we will do xploits all round including sexual. This could truly usher in a novel response.
Posted July 20, 2009 6:39 PM
as a woman of 58 I still have a good libido and can tell you that great sex is even better when you can share the fantasies with a partner
Posted July 6, 2009 12:15 AM
I find as i grow older(now 75)that I relie on sexual fantasies in my private moments with imagined and real women more and more.I enjoy feeling myself in my genitals as I fantasize.Hey you all I am just really being
honest.
Posted May 31, 2009 10:11 AM
Why is it that articles like this that talk about healthy sexuality, and reality to boot, always draw-out the ultra-Christians (who are afraid of anything sexual) quoting their Bible? This is one of the big reasons that open and honest discussions about something as basic in human nature don't happen in the U.S.
Folks, these are very real fantasies, and one's I'd bet 95% of the one's that quote Bible scripture also think about, and guilt about.
It's very sad that people can't enjoy the life they've been given and must fill it with silly "sins" and guilt.
Posted May 23, 2009 3:15 PM
THE BEST OF ALL IS AN EXCELENT COMMUNICATION WITH UR PARTNER ASK HIM HIS FANTAS\Y AND THEN TELL HIM WOULD U LIKE TO KNOW MINE? MAYBE WOULD BE BETTER TOPRACTICE THEM TOGETHER AND ALSO MAYBE GET A GOOD LAUGH DOING THEM OR GETTING HIGH IN THE CLOUDS PERFORMING THEM...........................MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Posted May 21, 2009 2:51 PM
Lust or adultery in your mind releases the same chemicals from your brain as real sexual activity. Therefore, fantasies can become addicting. Additionally, lusting after someone in your mind or heart other than your spouse is considered adultery according to Jesus - Christianity is supposed to be the predominant religion or spiritual choice in America. The reason that it is considered sin is because fantasy with another partner or an expartner is adultery in the mind and heart.
Lust and adultery in the mind is dangerous territory because usually when we "think" of someone, we run into them. And now the seeds have been planted for an adulterous affair to happen. Ask any adulterer - he thought of adultery MANY times first, then he ran into a women who was available for it, and then he acted on it. Thoughts -> Words (he probably told other men his fantasy) -> actions -> habits (once an adulterer, usually he will continue because it is chemically addictive and he probably has not fixed his low self esteem and need for acceptance) -> character
This works the same for women too. She can get aggravated or not be satisfied with her spouse, many times for reasons other than sex, e.g. he is always late, chronically unemployed/underemployed/underpaid, has temper problems, is sarcastic, is messy or unclean, etc. Then she fantasizes about the "perfect" husband, man, or lover. And eventually someone will appear in the flesh and blood that appears to meet what she is looking for so she falls for the smooth words, attention, and affection.
Fantasy is also unfair for partners or spouses of those who fantasize because it lacks reality. He might look good in the fantasy but he probably leaves his socks on the floor and might cheat so much that he has a disease like herpes. Or she might look really great on Baywatch but she has hepatitis C from all her sexual looseness and drug use.
Fantasy helps people to be less satisfied with what is available and create ideas or expectations that are impossible to fulfill or to satisfy. This can lead to anger, depression, and the manifestation of mental illness. In fact, very unsatisfied people can even commit suicide.
Reality might not be perfect, but to make the best of reality instead of devote time to fantasy will actually lead to more sexual satisfaction and a better life.
Ask any criminal, adulterer, rapist, or murderer if the "thought" and fantasized about their crime first - the answer is yes. Fantasy used in the wrong direction - against morals, principles, and values - is visualization (a very powerful technique) being used for evil.
Fantasy is like a taste test. If you enjoy it, your brain and body will link pleasure chemicals to that thought, and eventually you will seek an action which can have dire consequences. For instance, if a woman or man fantasizes about doing something to her or his spouse that she or he would not enjoy, then eventually the spouse will be asked to try it or could be pressured. If the spouse gives in, resentment and the termination of a relationship could follow. If the spouse does not give in, the fantasizer will be tempted to act out the fantasy with another person.
In the end, reality is hardly ever better than fantasy in most situations because fantasy lacks so much reality (his feet stink, sex outside might include lots of sweat or even bugs or mosquito biting, etc). Even a fantasy where someone pretends to be passive - the fantasy dreamer is still in control. In reality, they will not have the control over the situation like in a fantasy.
As he is in his heart, so a man is. All thoughts need to be selected very carefully.
Posted May 20, 2009 5:05 PM
I agree with the first Comment on here ,,Fantasies are fine as long as it is with your Life mate ,, Too many people in this world are living in a Fantasy World , Is part of the problem with what is going on in this world today.. Too many people can not deal with reality...
Posted May 6, 2009 3:35 PM
I don't thing fantasy of somone other than your spouse is healthy. because thought can take control after awhile your thoughts will turn to action. the Bible say to be coverd under his blood to be pure in mind, body and soul.
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