Its natural for things to slow down in the lovemaking department when youve been in the same bed for years. Humans are creatures of routine and routine, while safe and sweet and predictable, also can mean boring or stuck in a rut. Or your sex life can be unsatisfying because youre on your own, and think theres just so many things you can do in bed by yourself. Not true!
Short on ideas that dont cost a lot of money, or make you feel ridiculous? Try these tips and tricks.
Try a new position. This is so simple and so obvious, but people who have been having sex the same way for years are reluctant to chance it. You dont have to be an acrobat; nobody expects (or even wants) you to swing from a vine. Start easy. If youre always on the bottom, be on top. Or what about a tantric sex position inspired by yogis? One of the great losses to the vast realm of sexual culture are the fanciful positions described by the great ancient students of lovemaking. Why not try the rising position, where the woman lifts both thighs high in the air to meet her partner? This slight change in position results in a change of pressure that both partners will find rewarding.
Make love in a new location. If you always do it in bed, try another room in the house. The shower is a very good place to make love as long as you dont run out of warm water!
Introduce something new into the equation. You never tried using a sex toy before? Watched an adult film together? Made love with warm oil or chocolate sauce? The latter is pretty messy, although you can buy disposable sheets. The idea is to do something different. Even a small change can be exciting. For starters, pull out a feather.Change your own head. Human beings have sex for reasons that have very little to do with procreation or erotic pleasure. Some people rely on sex not as a way to bring them closer to their partner, but as a method of alleviating stress. Or they want to temporarily forget a problem theyre having at work, or to escape the daily grind. Its not uncommon to engage in sex because were bored. Trouble arises when these reasons become the primary motivator for engaging in sexual activity. Change things up by giving yourself permission to have a completely sensual experience, or, better yet, focus entirely on the other person for a change of pace. A simple change of intention can make a huge difference.Stay in the momentIts amazing how distracted we can be while making love. How many times have you found yourself worrying about a bill or a parent-related problem or watch TV over the shoulder of your partner? While its true weve all become masters of multi-tasking, that lack of total attention can lead to a bedroom deficit. Focus on whats happening at the moment and youll discover that degree of focus will lead to more powerful, satisfying orgasm for you and him. About the author: Eve Marx has written several books about sex and writes frequently on the subject for ThirdAge.com
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