I say this with love and good humor - men get older, they don’t really grow up. Most learn how take on responsibility, be good parents and partners, and live like good citizens, but some portion of them remains in the locker room. So when I asked my dear husband his opinion on what he likes to see women wear, his immediate reply was “nothing”. I wasn’t surprised. After pressing him for something more helpful, he supplied this list:
First, a little about “nothing”. Men worry far less about the appearance of their middle aged bodies than we do about ours. We’re more inclined to cover up what we think is less than perfect, but they don’t see us nearly as critically as we see ourselves. We may see a tummy and thighs we wish were firmer, but they see a naked woman that they’re crazy about. As long as they still like to look, there’s a live spark in there. So stoke it!
Jeans. This may have something to do with their first sexual encounter which was probably sometime during the Peace & Love movement. The widespread adoption of jeans was part of sexual liberation. But today, I suspect it’s more about the close fitting nature of jeans that gives them that little thrill of pleasure to fantasize about what’s underneath.
Clothes that show some skin. Backs, shoulders, boobs, butts, and thighs, not necessarily in that order and not necessarily all at once, but you can bet they’re still checking out the scenery and wishing we would all dress more like Pamela Anderson. Sometimes, I imagine they ask for their fantasies without really thinking about the reality of showing up at a suburban grocery store dressed like an aging Bay Watch Babe. Whatever your finest assets are, that’s what they want to see.
Short skirts. We see jiggle, he sees WOW! Just like that, he’s picturing his High School sweetheart in her school girl skirt accented with nubile adolescent butt cheeks. Short skirts and legs “up to there” are a powerful man fantasy, which is why Giselle is almost a billionaire! Remember you’re his Giselle, so take this one as far as you dare to or care to.
Tight clothing. The number one thing my husband wants to see is me underneath my clothes. He likes to see that there is a body under there, even if it’s not perfect. It all goes back to playing up our assets. Conversely, what he really dislikes is anything that smacks of a muumuu or a long unconstructed tent-like garment that hides, camouflages, or shrouds.
High Heels. In his opinion, there are some shoes that should just plain be against the law to wear. Those massive androgynous flip flops with toe wells and the oddly popular sandals modeled after the ones worn by biblical heroes are just 2 examples. Even a great personality can’t compensate for shoes that ugly. There are high heels now that are technologically engineered to be comfortable and stylish. There is no excuse NOT to own some. This one is easy. (Black lace stockings aren’t bad, either.)
Sexy underwear. OK we deserve this one. Somehow the comforts of a long term relationship lulled us into giving up our lacy plunging push up bras for the comfort and support of stodgy undies. True, a gal needs support when she’s out and about in the world, but in the privacy of her own home she should get a little gussied up every now and then. Own some sexy stuff; no one has to see it but him!
A smile. There’s nothing sexy about a scowling sourpuss, even if she is wearing a short skirt, a plunging neckline, and high heels.
Don’t worry too much about good taste. Did we really need him to tell us this?
Mary Marino is a writer, blogger and the editor of Flashionista.com.