Husbands Who Still Like Solo Sex

Why Married Men Masturbate

If he masturbates, does that mean he's not satisfied with your love life? In almost all cases, the answer is a definite no. True, if you're experiencing a menopausal or postmenopausal dip in desire, there could be a little uptick in his solo sessions. But it's a good bet that he - like virtually all men - was in the habit of masturbating long before this. That's because pleasuring himself is a different experience than having sex with you – not better, just different.

In fact, recent research shows that masturbation actually improves partner sex rather than scuttling it. Several studies found that men who masturbate the most have more frequent and more satisfying sex with their mates. The theory is that the old "use it or lose it" chestnut applies here. Guys who have orgasms on their own are simply keeping themselves at the top of their game.

Beyond that, a quick solo session for a man can be a stress reliever and a mood booster without the need for much foreplay or the worry about whether it was good for you, too. He's not "replacing" what happens in bed with you. He's just enjoying another, more private kind of release. He'll probably sleep more soundly, too.

Solo sex is also an excellent way for a man to figure out what does and doesn't work for him. That in turn can help him get better at communicating, both verbally and non-verbally, how he likes to be touched and what he wants and needs. 

Another big plus is that going it alone gives a man the chance to identify the moment right before he's going to have an orgasm. This can teach him how to avoid premature ejaculation. Practice does indeed make perfect. All of that is good news, but here's the capper: Masturbation may decrease your man's chances of getting prostate cancer. Researchers at the University of Nottingham found that men in their 50s who climaxed ten or more times a month were less like to develop the disease than men who were not as sexually active. What's so interesting is that although this held true no matter whether the participants climaxed from masturbation or intercourse, the effect was greater when masturbation was assessed on its own. The study's authors postulate that orgasms - and apparently those from masturbation in particular - may protect against the cancer by removing toxins that have built up over the years due to an excess of testosterone, the hormone that drives prostate problems. Obviously, if your husband masturbates to the exclusion of sex with you, that's a problem and you should consider counseling. Yet if he's into solo sex and he's also having a great time between the sheets with you, there's no need to worry. He's just a normal guy who is still lusty - and in love!
Sondra Forsyth, Senior Editor at ThirdAge, is a National Magazine Award winner. She writes for major magazines and is the author or co-author of eleven books. She was Executive Editor at "Ladies’ Home Journal," Features Editor at "Cosmopolitan," and Articles Editor at "Bride’s." A former ballerina, she is the Artistic Director of Ballet Ambassadors, an arts-in-education company in New York City.  Do you have your own idea, theory or thought? Share it with us here, Why do Married Men Masturbate?
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