Well, the short answer is YES!! But you probably knew that already. The way we think influences how we experience all sorts of situations. The truth is, our thoughts actually have a huge impact on how we feel, and a very popular field of psychology is based on this premise (cognitive psychology). Because of this, your thoughts during sex should interest you. And, if your sex life needs a boost, this is a great place to start.
What do you think about during sex? How about right before you begin intimate play, what are you thinking then? Before you read any further, take a moment and identify what typically goes through your mind.
Our thoughts can make trouble for us between the sheets in two basic ways. Obviously, negative thoughts obstruct the possibility of feeling pleasure. And two, just the act of thinking probably means that you arent as focused on physical sensations, which means that you are limiting your opportunities for pleasure. People are often surprised and not in a good way by how much they are thinking when they would rather be feeling and enjoying the moment.
Researchers have associated negative thoughts not only with sexual concerns for men and women, but also with actual sexual disorders such as low libido for women, or erectile dysfunction in men. Some of the more common negative thoughts for a woman relate to criticisms of her body, expectations that she wont feel pleasure, or concerns that her partner isnt enjoying touching her. Common negative thoughts for a man include concerns about his erection, his performance, or whether his partner is satisfied. Yes, both men and women torture themselves during the most intimate and potentially pleasurable moments of their lives! In this way they limit their own enjoyment, and most likely their partner feels it too because a thinker is probably less present, less open, or less loving. Lets face it, its hard to be a loving sex partner when we are criticizing or critiquing ourselves (or our partners)!
