Sexy Movies and Your Man

Erotic Movies + Books = A Healthy Sex Life

By Eve Marx

“I just read ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ and loved it,” a friend recently gushed to me.  She was talking, of course, about the X-rated novel  of erotic domination that’s won millions of loyal readers worldwide. And "Grey" isn't the only sign of sexiness in the air.  "Magic Mike," the movie about a male stripper, had women across the country squealing with delight. Now comes “Hope Springs,” a dramedy about a staid Midwestern couple (Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones) who are trying to rekindle their sex life by experimenting with everything from outrageous sex tips to forbidden fantasies.

Why do we love sexy media so much, even if we can be a bit embarrassed by it?

The woman who told me about her “Fifty Shades of Grey” strikes me as conservative. She’s been married to the same man a long time, her kids are mostly grown, and judging from the way she dresses, even when I’ve seen her dressed up, appears to be someone more at home in yoga clothes than, uh, leather and nipple clamps. She seemed almost defiant, telling me her reading tastes. Somehow, I wasn’t surprised. Every woman needs a bit of a sexy shake up from time to time, and what fills the bill better than a dirty novel?

Sexy media, whether it’s a work of fiction, or a movie (foreign films, for the record, usually have twice as much sex in them, especially if they’re French), a hot magazine cover, a racy advertisement, are really good for shaking things up, and putting you in the head of a person who thinks about sex. It’s been said (and oft reported) that the average man has hundreds of sexual thoughts every day, but that women only think about sex, or things that are sexy, occasionally. That’s because the average woman is consumed and inundated with both mundane and pressing things on her to-do list, things like laundry and picking up something for dinner and work deadlines. These things, while necessary, are pretty libido- killing, at least for the majority of women. Getting out of your head is an important step in reclaiming your sexual health and vitality. It’s also a good way to release stress. A few weeks ago in a movie theater crowded with middle aged women, two girlfriends and I laughed and squealed and howled at the bumps, grinds, and moves of the male strippers featured in the popular summer film, “Magic Mike.” The girlfriend sitting next to me, married to the same man for 28 years, practically wet her pants when Mike’s break-a-way pants broke off, revealing his deliciously bare bottom. “Look at that hairless butt,” she marveled. “My husband is so hairy. I wish he would wax!.”
Hopefully when my friend got home from the movie, she closed her eyes and made believe her husband was Magic Mike. Or Mr. Gray.  Or Tommy Lee Jones. Fantasy is wonderful. Embrace it. Embrace sexy media. It’s stimulating. It’s sexy. It’s normal. And best of all, it’s a safe and healthy way to behave sinfully.   To comment, click here. Eve Marx, M.A., is a sexpert and author of “101 Things You Didn’t Know About Sex” and “The Goddess Orgasm.” Her new novel, “Beddington Place,” is now available on Amazon.com.  
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