Expanding Your Pleasure and Orgasm Capacity

The old line "Just do what comes naturally" when it comes to sex doesn't work for about 90 percent of the population. Virtually no one was taught about sex and pleasure as a young person in this society. We are all left to reinvent the wheel, so to speak.

Today it's an easier process because of the information culture that we have created. It is still difficult, though, to get quality information. And you don't really want to get it from Cosmopolitan or Redbook because of the unrealistic spin that women's magazines tend to put on most subjects they write about. If you are getting a lot of your sexual knowledge from sex magazines or pornography, you're really going to be confused and possibly let down

There are many things to learn about love and one of its expressions: sex. But there are a handful of things that each individual can learn that will not only enhance their experience of orgasm and sexual relating but will benefit their health and quality of life, too. These are easy things to learn and they have the potential to change your life for the better. These Keys are essential for your experience of enlightened sex.

Breath
Breathing is not a conscious activity for most humans. We expect to just know how to do it. Yet the key to greater health and vitality, experiences of expanded consciousness, and the full body orgasm is mastery of the breath. Yogis place a great emphasis on learning to deepen and lengthen the breath. Becoming conscious of the breath and its patterns is the first step in the process to expanding orgasm.

Deep breathe into your belly first. Practice breathing and filling your belly with air first, then let your lungs and upper chest area expand. Be gentle on yourself if you find this difficult at first but keep practicing. Breathe slowly and fully.Focus on the out breath. By shifting your mind's focus on the out breath you will practice making breathing more conscious but you will also squeeze more of the old, stale air from your lings which allows for a lot more fresh air to enter them. This is a mindfulness practice you can use while meditating, too. KegelsKegel exercises facilitate the flow of blood to your genitals and they keep your pelvic floor muscles, or PC muscles, healthy. If you do these twice a day, you are going to notice a difference. Both men and women need to strengthen their PC muscles and use them. Practice breathing and combining it with doing Kegel exercises. An advanced form of this breathing exercise involves tightening your PC muscles on the in breath and let them go on the out breath. This takes a little focus, but it is well worth it. When taken into a Tantric lovemaking situation both partners can breathe and tighten together or they can alternate their breathing and tightening to create a gentle back and forth motion. The back and forth alternating breathing also makes it easier to exchange pheromones and other sex attractant chemicals that escape via the breath. Stay Conscious and PresentEye gazing with your partner will put you in full awareness and bring you to the "present" with your lover. Leaving the lights on or lighting candles during sex with eyes open is the best way to be bonded with your partner. When you are fully available, open to being seen, your capacity for merging and orgasm goes way up.
Eye gazing produces oxytocin, the bonding neurotransmitter. If you want to be more bonded with your partner, then introduce eye gazing practices anytime you want to feel more connected and definitely before lovemaking. Once you get used to relating in this way, you won't want to go back to the dark.Staying conscious when you are touching your lover is easy to do when you focus on your own great feelings as the Giver of the touch. Focus on your hands, fingers and body and how they are feeling. If your fingers are receiving pleasure from the touch that they are giving, then you can bet on the fact that your lover is having a good time too. If you, as the Giver, are feeling erotic then the Receiver will perceive that quality of the touch you are giving.SoundMaking noise during sexual play is a turn-on and helps us know where our partner is in the sexual response cycle. The signs of arousal and stimulation, especially in women, are very hard to interpret even with sound added. It's almost physically impossible to make deep sounds while in orgasm and hold your pelvic region tight at the same time. Moaning opens up the pelvic region and relaxes the genital area, greatly enhancing the full body orgasms that follow. Practice by yourself first if you feel self-conscious about it.
Know Your Own BodyIt is vitally important to know your body and what pleasures it -- in detail. If you don't, then how do you expect your lover to know ... and how will you tell them what turns you on? They really don't want to be mind readers, so don't expect them to be and then, when they fail, judge them harshly. Men actually love having their lovers instruct them, especially, if it is done lovingly and with an air of playfulness.This means that you need to practice self-loving at least some of the time. Where are you the most sensitive on your clitoris? Do you like your scrotum to be gently messaged during oral sex? Have you located and messaged your G-spot effectively? Do certain acts cause you to ejaculate more quickly? There are so many things to know and it's very fun to explore them so that you bring yourself fully to lovemaking. Your partner will appreciate you more for being able to tell them!RelaxLearn to relax and enjoy pleasure. A relaxed body leads to a more relaxed attitude, which will lead to a more relaxed life. Stress is the number one libido killer. When you're anxious you can't focus your attention very well. Great sex requires focus and attention giving by both parties. If you practice the deep belly breathing exercises, they will help you combat stress. In particular, if you breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, while breathing into your belly, you will actively lower your blood pressure within minutes. Lower blood pressure is sign of relaxation.
Both men and women have fuller, deeper orgasms when relaxed. The orgasmic energy can travel throughout their bodies more fully and produce the ecstatic feelings you desire. Men can last longer when they learn to fully relax. In high states of arousal, if a man deeply relaxes he has the possibility of having multiple orgasms without ejaculating. Mind/Body/Spirit Your mind is your biggest erogenous zone. Mind/Body/Spirit consciousness is a real thing. How you think, perceive, feel, respond, react -- everything you do in life gets clearer and more enhanced when you us the tools available to have your mind and your body work in unison. When this happens your "spirit" falls into place and expands because the "you" knows and feels more integrated. For great sex and great orgasms to happen, the mind can't be wandering and expect the body to just do its thing. You don't work that way. Just remember the last time you tried to have an orgasm, women, and your thoughts were in the kitchen, the office or with the kids. It didn't work, did it. How about getting that firm erection you wanted the last time you were going to make love, guys? The more you worried about it, the less you seemed to respond, right? Practicing some of these very simple techniques can make the difference when it comes to expanding your pleasure potential. They are universal for men and women, singles and couples. It's all about life -- healthy lifestyles that increase your body's capacity for pleasure, orgasm, focus, healthy living and erotic connection. For more information about Suzie Heumann and her work, visit www.tantra.com. To really get the most out of your loving, consider some advanced training. The Tantric Sex Guide is your 24 hour a day guide to the skills that will take you to new heights of pleasure and intimacy.
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