How to Improve Sexual Communication with Your Partner
Not being honest about sex or not understanding your own sexual needs can significantly hinder your sex life and communication with your partner.
As Cory Silverberg, an AASECT certified sex educator and researcher writes on his About Sexuality Blog, many couples fall into a trap of using communication short cuts. When you know another person very well and spend a lot of time with them, sometimes it's faster, easier and less embarrassing to use a shortcut instead of spelling out exactly what you mean.
According to Sliverberg:
The problem with this is that communication short cuts can lead to significant miscommunication. Vagueness, particularly around a topic like sex, can lead directly to confusion. And we have to remember that if we don't clearly ask for what we want, we reduce the chances that we'll ever get it.
To ensure you are communicating fully with your partner, Silverberg recommends that you ask yourself some questions that will help you solidify your own feelings and opinions. Some examples of these questions include:
When I say I want to have sex, I mean I want to(try to list at least three things)
Sex for me is(try to list at least five things)
When I think about sex, the first thing I think about is
When I think about sex, the last thing I think about is
See all of Silverberg's suggestions at About.com Sexuality Blog.