There are many reasons for a woman to find herself without an available partner (key word: available.) It may be that she has no partner at all, that she is widowed or divorced, never married, or currently without a special someone to supply sexual gratification. It may also be, however, that she is happily married or cohabitating with a man who is either no longer able to attain an erection or no longer interested in pursuing a sex life. It happensand more so when a woman gets older.
Some men, who can no longer attain an erection, get help with such meds as Viagra or Cialis. But theyre not for everyone. Theyre contraindicated with certain medical conditions or in tandem with certain other meds. And theyre no use at all if the problem is a loss of sexual desire. There are pharmaceutical remedies for that, too, but again, theyre not for everyone. For one thing, their efficacy depends in part on the cause of the lack of libido. For another thing, there are, again, health risks inherent in taking them.
One woman whose partner no longer had any interest in sex reported that when she spoke frankly to her gynecologist about the problem, he suggested she ask her mate for an open relationship, or simply enter into a discreet affair. Instead, she went out and bought a fresh supply of batteries.
Ever since the invention of vibrators, women have been using them for a lot more than the stiff neck muscles that many general-merchandise catalogs coyly have advertised them as being useful for. (In fact, I tried mine on a painful neck once and found it no help at all for that. But its just dandy for its real intended purpose.)There are a variety of sexual devices that are sold for use in either partnered or solo sex, but certain ones lend themselves more naturally to relieving your own sexual frustrations. And central to these is the basic vibrator, whether you use the standard wand model or the small butterfly style.And then, of course, theres good old-fashioned fingering, which is how most of us learned to masturbate, before vibrators were even around. (Although I have heard reports of women in the old days who got hold of vibrating massagers, which strapped on to the back of the users hand, that really were intended to be used as back and neck therapy aids, but turned out to have other uses their manufacturers never intended.)Women who are strong proponents of everything natural may prefer not using a vibrator. Still another obvious benefit is that, unlike a vibrator, ones hand is silent. If your situation is that you live alone and are partnerless, you and your vibrator can both get as noisy as you please and no one will be any the wiser (unless your bed is right next to an open window.)
If your situation is that your partner is willing but unable, he may, of course, be happy to give you relief in other ways. But there are some men who feel that if they cant enjoy themselves in the manner they used to, they dont want to offer alternative satisfaction to their women. For some, its a matter of selfishness. With others, its a matter of shame or embarrassment. And if a man has no sexual desire at all, he may also have no interest in helping out his mate. Masturbation may not be quite as all-around satisfying as partnered lovemaking, but it is guilt-free and disease-risk-free. Its not real lovemaking, but whats wrong with loving yourself? And you can do it at your own speed. No worries that he will lose his erection before you climax, or that he is in a hurry because the game goes on in 10 minutes. And if you are in a sexless relationship, masturbation is not cheating. Youre entitled to satisfy this most basic of natural needs. Go for it!About the Author: Cynthia MacGregor is the author of 54 conventionally published books and over 30 e-books. A full-time freelance writer/editor based in South Florida, she also is the proprietor of a website for single parents and the producer and host of Solo Parenting, a TV show for single parents airing in the West Palm Beach viewing area.
