What To Do Before Judgment Day
As you may have heard, May 21, 2011, is Judgment Day, upon which the righteous – which totals only about three percent of humanity – will be whisked away to their heavenly reward, leaving the rest of us to weather five months of extreme natural disasters until October 21, whereupon God destroys the entire universe and everyone left in it. At least that's what Harold Camping says. The head of Family Radio broadcasting network, has "infallible, absolute proof" that there's no point in making plans for a Memorial Day barbecue.
We don’t want to go into details about why Camping is so sure the end is upon us. Most every other doomsday predictor is certain the end is coming just before Christmas in 2012 when the Mayan calendar runs out. But just in case, Harold is right, here are our suggestions of some things you ought to do before Saturday.
Like take a sick day on Friday and spend the day either smelling the roses or watching all your favorite old movies. (We’ve already found our copies of Casablanca and The Godfather I and II.)
Tell everybody you love, even sometimes-including mate, kids, grandkids, siblings, relatives—that you really, really love them. Why not? If the world doesn’t end they’ll be touched, and if it does, it gives you a slightly better chance of being included among the righteous.
Buy something you want. Yes, do it. So what if you won’t have a chance to wear it? Then go out to dinner and order the biggest gooiest dessert possible. No, order two.