Discussion
Stress & Anxiety, Hosted by Brenda
Posted 7/23/08 7:46 PM
Stress & Anxiety, Hosted by Brenda
Brenda recognizes the role both play in her life. "Stress and anxiety aren't necessarily pleasant company," she says, "but sometimes they teach me a lot about myself and about being out of balance or incongruent. In that case I can call them friends. Stress and Anxiety? Yes...been there, done that, and made the silly T-shirt...LOL. But learned a lot and still growing."
--Brenda
By bandradzki
Posted 04/10/05 4:03 PM
Situational Anxiety
Melani, if I read you correctly, you have seen a medical doctor for your anxiety and panic attacks. Have you had any counseling as well? Meds can help take the edge off but they don't help you get to the root of the problem. If you have community mental health centers in your area, most of them use a sliding scale for payment based upon your income.
Secondly meds are meant to help but not a means to heal the problem. While you have plenty of concerns and situational things to trigger anxiety, most anxiety takes root in what we tell ourselves about the situations rather than the situations themselves. It also has a lot to do with a person’s general feeling about her life and her choices and how she sees herself and feels about herself and the people in her life.
Cutting out stimulants or cutting down on them can help. Taking medications can help. Learning to meditate, do yoga, and any number of other things can help but again, until you get to the bottom of the cause which is within you, these won't really "cure" the problem.
If you can find a support group for parents of chronically ill children, that could be a boon as well. Knowing that other parents have gone through or are going through what you are gives you support and helps to make you feel so not alone. Find out if your local hospital or your doctor knows of any groups. Sometimes others through their sharing can provide ideas and options that may be helpful that you haven't thought of.
What you are going through can be a crisis or an opportunity. What we go through can make us or break us. If you make up your mind that this rough spot you have hit upon can be the very thing that shows you your strength and the very thing that teaches you to overcome your anxiety in the long run, won't that be wonderful!
I know when you are in the midst of dealing with so much, it doesn't seem like there is any way out and you begin to feel trapped and powerless but trust me, good can come out of it if you see it through.
In terms of diet, if you have sensitivities to certain foods, or chemicals, they can trigger off what feels like anxiety attacks. It doesn’t have to be a full-blown allergy. You can just have intolerances to certain foods and chemicals like perfumes and such. I'm not sure if they cause anxiety exactly but they can set off physical feelings that feel like anxiety and panic.
I used to have a lot of anxiety and panic attacks now and then but I learned, thank God, that a panic attack is not going to kill me so I started being able to talk myself through it before it got going good. ;) I have been on a spiritual path over the last few years that has helped me see my life and myself in a different light so I have had much more peace and enjoyment of life. For me, this has been the biggest help.
It is very difficult to give you a complete picture of how to help yourself but I hope that some of what I have written may be of benefit to you.
Please keep in touch and let me know how you are doing.
Posted 10/27/04 8:47 PM
words that relax
Hello!
I have a problem with the *words that relax*--I can't find it. I think it is a broken link. I was sent to an error page.
I think I have the same problem as Shannon. She must be referring to the link:
http://www.thirdage.com/news/archive/ALT08990927-03.html?learning_h
which was indicated in the lesson 2.
I really want to read these words.
Can you help?
Thanks.
By bandradzki
Posted 10/28/04 4:32 AM
Christa, you are referring to lesson 2 in which class?
The link most likely broken. That happens and those who set up the lessons must not be checking up on things and updating when necessary. The problem is, many of the people at Thirdage who actually do the pages and set things up have come and gone so those who originally set it up are no longer at Thirdage.
I will report this but I am not sure what can be done.
I do need to know which class this is so please let me know and then I will see what I can do.
Thanks,
Brenda
By THEHSMOMOF2
Posted 10/20/04 3:14 PM
words that relax
Hi, my name is Shannon. I have been trying to get to the words that relax list, but it says that the page cannot be found. Is the page still available?
By bandradzki
Posted 10/21/04 4:49 AM
Hello Shannon. I am not clear about the page you are trying to
Were you referring to "The Power of Words" discussion that I used to host? Or "The Body-Mind Connection" discussion? The latter one is still active but I think the former one is no longer available. When discussions are not tended for a while, ThirdAge archives them.
We can certainly explore the topic of words that relax right here in this discussion if you would like to.
Some words I think help relax or come to mind when I think of relaxing are:
Peace
Love
Calm
Delicious
Lovely
Quiet
Serene
Phrases that relax:
I love you.
You are wonderful.
All is well.
I am loved.
Can you think of some as well?
Brenda
Posted 09/24/04 10:22 AM
Whenever I am stressed, I
Whenever I am stressed, I just take a minute and relax. First, I try to think about the reason/s for my stress and how important or unimportant those things are in the "grand scheme" of life. Once I am able to shift my focus onto what truly matters--relationships, laughing, living, loving--I feel better. Although there are times when I feel overwhelmed by other things in my life (we all do), I either talk about my feelings, turn to a good book, or go for a run. I have found any and all of these things to work for me at some point.
By bandradzki
Posted 09/24/04 1:33 PM
Shifting
That's what it is all about Kelly. Any of the things you mentioned will help shift your focus. What is so amazing is when you can feel those shifts and know that you did.
Thank you for contributing some excellent shifting tools.
Brenda
Posted 09/17/04 3:04 PM
stress and more stress
Even weather can be stressful.
Especially here on the SE coast. To de-stress, lots of beautiful music. Lots of rest, and no TV.
I like a fan even with air-conditioning.
By bandradzki
Posted 09/17/04 3:28 PM
Excellent suggestions AILEENSAVANNAH! Thank you for posting th
Brenda
Posted 09/17/04 3:00 PM
stress and more stress
Even the weaher can cause stress. Here on the east coast, we have been on edge.
One way I fight stress is lots of rest, a cool airy room, and beautiful music.
And turn off the tv and all the bad news.
Posted 09/17/04 1:08 PM
stressed
to much for one person i lost my mother ,and my uncle 2 years agao we moved ,lost my pet about 6 months agao .have problems with my asthma ,hey fever,allegies ,arthritis pain ,tried to work i worked 1 day got sick for 4 days .help need next money for bills .
By bandradzki
Posted 09/17/04 3:26 PM
PRINCESSMARYE102, you have been on a roll for some of life's tou
When my husband of 38 years died, my two dogs died shortly after, my father had died the year before, one of my children was in serious trouble, the business we owned failed, and we were building a house when he died. So I know what you mean.
My allergies have gotten worse in my later years so I think that is natural if you are over 40.
The stress itself is not the cause of ill health as HOW we cope with it. If you can deal with the stress successfully, it takes less toll on you emotionally and physically.
Our beliefs about ourselves, about life, about what ought to be or not, our self esteem and self confidence, and in fact our whole state of mind and perspective have a bearing on our stress level and our ability to cope with it.
Reading between the lines, I get the feeling that you are so crushed right now, it is hard to even try. I remeber feeling like I wish someone - anyone - could just take care of me for a while and fix all the hurts and problems. I also remember going through some stages of anger. Perhaps you are experiencing some of these same feelings.
May the solutions soon come to your attention and may you have the strength and courage to pick yourself up and start living a new life for yourself. It isn't easy, I know but it is worth all your effort.
Blessings
Brenda
By trekmate
Posted 09/19/04 3:51 PM
how I handle stress-usually
I'm usually able to get on the computer, get online and interact with my online friends. When our phone/cable and computer were off for two months this summer it was very stressful to me, I was always tense and everyone knew it.
When I'm not able to get online though, reading or working on one of my craft projects is relaxing while watching/listening to TV.
When I'm really tense I try to take a nap and then I usually don't end up snapping at everyone at home.
Some of the reasons that I get tense are having to chauffer (SP?) everyone around. I know my parents don't really have anyone but me and my family to get them to their appointments in town, but when it's almost every week on my day off it's very stressful, but we've almost gotten all the doctors taken care of for the next few months-then something else happens and we have to go see a new doctor.
Oh well, we aren't given more than we can handle in life...just seems like it sometimes.
By ANGELBABE0103
Posted 09/14/04 1:15 PM
I want to learn more ways to
I want to learn more ways to relieve stress in good ways, more than I already know. I am willing to share some ideas if anyone wants any ideas in relieving stress.
By bandradzki
Posted 09/14/04 7:10 PM
Hello Angelbabe0103
I have had a very stressful day today and not a pleasant stressful one at that. One thing that helps me sometimes and did today was talking about it with people with whom I have a trusting and loving relationship but walks in a park seem to help do something with the energy that is pent up inside. And somehow being out in nature helps sooth and bring some peace.
Please do share some of your ideas.
By bandradzki
Posted 08/09/04 4:18 AM
Hello!
I thought this discussion had become a "ghost town". Nice to see some people here. (smile)
There are many things/tools we can use to help us deal with stresses and to relieve the body so it can repair itself. Even "good" stress can cause wear and tear and we need the three "R's" - rest, relaxation and recuperation.
I have to agree GRANNIE7, health is the most important thing.
I have noticed that stress not only takes its toll more on my body now but the "wrong" foods. I don't just mean the foods that we know are bad for us but there are some perfectly good foods that my body doesn't take too kindly too. They are "allergies" per se but my body lets me know I can't handle that food very well. Either I didn't notice it so much when I was younger or it is that when one ages the way the body handles certain things changes. Maybe it is both.
Anyway, keep on taking care of yourself by dealing effectively with stress. You're doing a good job of it.
Brenda(host)
Posted 08/08/04 11:08 AM
Yoga For Stress
I have recently started practicing yoga to relieve stress. I find yoga and meditation helps at times. Too much stress in my life put me in the ER last month and I have taken charge by getting more rest and have not worked for the past three weeks. Sometimes your health is more important. I hope this class will also help me and I look forward to it.
Grannie7
By BUTTERF1Y021
Posted 07/26/04 11:55 AM
Stress
I have really been enjoying this class. I currently live overseas due to my husband being in the military. It is really stressing. He works long hours plus he goes on TDY's and deployments for months at a time. It gets really stressful and I have found this class to be helpful.
By CAPTAINCHURCH
Posted 06/27/04 11:07 AM
Extreme anxiety & stress prevention
Please help end suicide (and extreme depression, self-injury &
incited violence) and spread the web addresses everywhere, including
the internet: SUICIDE VACCINE, a "figure of speech", is a solution to
ending suicide, a life preserver made up of words--->
http://keeperofflame.proboards24.com/. and
http://excoboard.com/exco/index.php?boardi=
Posted 04/24/03 7:38 AM
Free Prescription Medications for Needy
If you choose to go the medication route to help with anxiety, two free websites -- http://www.ayudandopacientes.org and http://www.helpingpatients.org -- have been created to make it easier for seniors, the needy and their caregivers to obtain FREE medications. Those in need or their helpers simply go to the free website, fill out a form and receive a list of free programs for which they may qualify.
By bandradzki
Posted 04/24/03 8:10 AM
Interesting Site
Hello CLAUDINTEXAS, I don't know much about helpingpatients.org so I can't say I endorse them but it appears they do good things.
Have you personally used their services?
Posted 04/13/03 5:56 PM
anxiety
Anxiety has always been a part of me and I am so tired of it. It robs you of enjoyment. I am seeking counselling and hope to find an rx that will help.
Annie
By bandradzki
Posted 04/13/03 6:18 PM
Hello Annie.
It sure can rob you of enjoyment. Takes a lot of energy from you and occupies your mind as well.
There's a lot of good books out there that can help you as well. You might want to research some titles at www.amazon.com or www.bn.com.
Annie, do you have panic attacks or a generalized anxiety? If you have depression along with the anxiety that will need addressing by a professional as well.
You might need some medication to help you but I personally think it is a good idea to not get to the point where you depend upon medication and to work towards handling the anxiety without the use of drugs that may only mask the symptoms and may keep you from getting to the root.
Therapy can certainly help as well as a thorough checkup from your physician in order to rule out any physical causes.
Sometimes just talking about the things that bother you to someone else can help alleviate your symptoms.
Keep me posted on your progress.
Brenda
Posted 04/11/03 5:56 AM
Anxiety Disorder/Biochemistry??
Howdy from Tx. folks. I'm a 47 yr old man,7+ yrs in recovery from alchohol and pot abuse. Apparently I suffer from General Anxiety Disorder. My Dr. sais it is mostly from Seratonin and other chem. being out of whack.I've worked a 12 step program and take Wellbutrin, but still have trouble with a number of symptems: Easy to Worry,be startled,psychosematic pain,hard to be motivated,over react to problems,clenched teeth,raise voice,hard to concentrate or keep my mind on what is at hand... While I find my Spiritual connection,deep breathing,and exercise are very helpfull; these problems continue to be part of my daily acceptance/battle.Perhaps I need to work more with others to get out of self? or Perhaps I would benifit from Therapy? TNX
By bandradzki
Posted 04/11/03 7:04 AM
Hello MRYTRXTR
Sounds like you are practicing a lot of things that can help your anxiety level.
I keep learning as I go about this thing called anxiety. I have a tendency to have panic attacks. They like to get me during the night while I am sleeping. I think that during sleep I am less able to keep the lid on things that I am trying to keep repressed.
Eventually being able to come face to face with what triggers the anxiety seems to help but it takes guts to do so. We are so very good at repressing things. But it comes out in physical illness, in mental illness, aches, pains, temper, grumpiness, and all other sorts of ways.
My mom died from alcoholism. She had panic attacks and was a very nervous woman. She went to all sorts of doctors but nothing seemed to help. She started drinking to "relax" and one thing lead to another. I had several relatives who did that on my father's side of the family as well. I swore I wouldn't try to treat anxiety with drugs - even prescribed ones if I could help it.
Instead, I went back to school, took up psychology and sociology and tried to learn about what makes us humans tick. I continued to develop my spiritual self as well and I keep learning more and more every day.
Working with others can certainly help you. Therapy can be good IF you can find a really good therapist.
Even finding the right prescription drug when one is truly needed is difficult. One does not necessarily fit all.
It sounds like to me you are doing all the right things so far. I will encourage you to keep on keeping on with it.
I have dealt with and am still dealing with a lot of the same symptoms you are so I know what you are talking about.
General Anxiety disorder can be a tough one but not impossible to treat. Finding the root cause may help but not always easy to do. I would say that the things we repress especially from childhood somewhere that we have continued to build upon are so often at the bottom of things. Although recently my husband had a breakthrough about something that occurred later in his life when he was about to graduate from college. He has been like a different man since that happened. It had to do with his mother. He wrote a letter to her expressing all his feelings then had a ritual of tearing it up afterward. He felt so much better.
I also had anxiety during the night a couple of nights ago again and the next day I started talking about a conversation I had with one of my daughters. I ended up crying and feeling all sorts of feelings about that conversation but so relieved. No more repression and I slept much better the next night. There's a book out, "Feelings Buried Alive Never Die" by Karol Truman that is pretty good to read if you are ready to learn more about that. You can find it on Amazon.com. or
Posted 04/28/03 3:35 PM
Tnx Brenda
The things you said were very helpfull...I did have a less than wonderfull childhood; although not bad.
Am also aware that alchoholism is a symptem and a way to avoid life (incuding our past/baggage). I guese we are all a work in progress. I'll say more another time when I have Time
Tnx DavethKnave aka MryTrxtr
By bandradzki
Posted 03/27/03 5:22 PM
War Stress
If you have someone you love involved in the war with Iraq, you have got to be undergoing some tremendous stress at this point. There is no doubt about that.
What we might be less aware of is the level of stress that all of us may be feeling as we read our newspapers, listen to our radios, or watch TV.
Modern technology has made it possible for us to see "live" pictures from the war zone. Technology bridges the gap between where we are and where the war is so that it is less "over there" and is brought right into our homes. Suddenly the war becomes more "real". Almost instantaneously we can watch it as it happens. We want to know how things are going whether or not we have a loved one who is laying his/her life on the line for the war effort. Yet part of us wants to try to keep life as normal as possible and we don't want to be so inundated with information that we can almost taste the blood that is being shed.
Even when you swear off newspapers, TV or the radio in terms of hearing the news, everyone else may not be and their state of mind and heart reaches out into the rest of the world and we are affected and infected with their stress levels.
Like a pebble thrown into a lake, the horror of war reaches out in ever-widening circles.
Are you aware of how the stress is impacting you? How are you dealing/coping with the it?
By bandradzki
Posted 02/19/03 6:14 AM
Want to have some fun regarding stress?
Posted 02/04/03 2:29 PM
Hi, I'm new
Hi, all. I'm a new member to the class and am really looking forward to learning new things. I am recently married and look after an elderly parent, so I have a lot to keep me busy, but I always like broadening my horizons with new knowledge.
By bandradzki
Posted 02/04/03 4:03 PM
Hi TWEETY.
Did you mean to post in this discussion? I sounds a little like you are doing a post that goes with some kind of class you are taking here at thirdage. There are several going on.
In this discussion we just talk about anxiety but there is no class per se. That's not to say you can't learn something here though. :)
Brenda
By bandradzki
Posted 02/03/03 4:52 AM
What causes dis-stress?
Is it the divorce we are going through? The problems our children are having? Not enough money? An illness? Income tax time?
Or is it what we THINK about these things that causes the stress?
Can we see it as a challenge and that there is a way out?
Are we "awfulizing" and making it worse than it really is?
If it is REALLY, REALLY bad, can we manage to focus on the solution rather than the problem? If so, I think we don't exempt ourselves from the impact of our situations but we lessen it somewhat and pull out of it sooner so we can recuperate.
Even "good" stress takes its toll and is boosted by what we think about that good happening. So we have to manage it well.
Then there is how even good stress can go sour. A woman getting married is very happy and excited. That's good. However, when it comes to the nitty-gritty of putting the wedding together, "bad" stress can accumulate. Arguments about how things should be done come up between parents and the bride and groom to be or between bride and groom or others on the details of the event. So, we know how to turn a positive stressful event into a negative stressful one.
We are taking a plane trip soon and it will be our first since 9/11. Airport security and rules have changed since the last time we flew. So while I am excited about the trip, I am apprehensive about the airport procedures and reaching my destination. I am not concerned that someone will commandeer the plane but just the normal concerns of traveling.
So, I can make a "federal case" out of this or just seek solutions and take precautions and reduce and manage the stress rather than make it worse than it is.
Just musing this morning on one of my favorite topics.
:)
Brenda
By Nettie
Posted 02/04/03 4:28 PM
stress and awfulizing...
Love your new word, Brenda!
Seems to me (at this moment in time LOL) that it isn't the situation at hand but our state of mind/emotions at the time a situation arises.
If we are feeling 'normal' we will take normal precautions and proceed normally.
If we are feeling stressed and fearful we will over re-act and make things worse.
If we are 'on a high' we may throw caution to the wind!
Enjoy your trip, Brenda!
xox
(ps where are you flying to!?)
By bandradzki
Posted 02/04/03 5:47 PM
Going to Chicago.
You have made a very good point Nettie.
Anytime you are at a "low" it will exacerbate the situation or the situation will seem much larger. Same thing when you are feeling ill.
I am finding that what causes stress and reactions has a lot to do with our cognitive processes and beliefs and so forth but...nature also takes a hand - our biology. The more I read and learn about behavior and reactions and so forth, the more I find we cannot just pin it down to one or the other.
Was reading recently for example that people who have panic attacks aren't just reacting to stressors but biological or physiological factors.
Of course unpleasant stressors will again increase their probability of having a panic attack.
Anxiety is bad enough by itself but panic attacks are scary and can sometimes give birth (so to speak) to phobias.
People who suffer nervous conditions or phobias or panic attacks are often told to straighten up and are often seen as mentally ill or weak. They may soon feel that way in the face of a crippling dis-ease and people not understanding their plight. It could become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Labeling can do that to a person. A person with diabetes or cancer or high blood pressure or something like that may get empathy from others but often people with "nervous conditions" are somehow seen as to "blame" for their problem or illness than those with more obvious "physical" ones.
So stress plays a big part in illnesses of all kinds but it may not be the sole cause of a condition or disease.
Interesting stuff.
By browere
Posted 01/03/03 3:34 PM
Hi Brenda!
Happy New Year! I don't suppose some of our friends have experienced this problem, do you?(((VBG)))
Best,
Ed
By Elfinius
Posted 12/28/02 4:58 PM
Even though I have been VERY busy *g*
By bandradzki
Posted 12/04/02 4:39 AM
Is it just stress?
All the studies show that stress plays havoc with our bodies. Stress isn't just a psychological thing by itself though.
We have other stressors like physical illnesses or discomforts that can cause the level of stress to go up.
Recently I learned that I had food allergies. Every time I ingested these foods most of which are foods we should include in our diet, my body saw them as "enemies" and produced antibodies to combat them. This process can make you feel really bad and put stress on the body. Some of us are more sensitive through our nervous system. And this is not a good thing for us.
In the case of food allergies or body aches, pains, illnesses or discomforts that are chronic rather than just temporary, we can try to work on either eliminating or reducing the problem and/or adopting coping mechanisms and relaxation tools to reduce the impact.
"We" are one entity with many parts - physical, psychological, emotional, mental, etc.- and all of these are affected when one area is. So, all areas need to be addressed as much as possible for better health.
Maybe some of the holiday stress people feel is not just the shopping and hopping that goes on in preparation but maybe we pig out too much on things that we may be intolerant of or even have allergies to. But my guess is, that it has to do with all the parts of us. ;)
Parts is parts. Treat them ALL well.
Brenda
By browere
Posted 12/04/02 7:31 AM
Hi Brenda!
By bandradzki
Posted 12/04/02 8:08 AM
LOL Rodent singing "Joy To The World". Cute, cute, c
Decafe is less fun but better on the nervous system.
How ya doin' Ed? How's your old school buddy doin'?
By browere
Posted 12/04/02 8:32 AM
Hi Brenda
We met Mary in NYC, went out to dinner together and really enjoyed recalling about ole times. It rained for 36 hours during our visit,,,burrr! Mary was really in good shape and the "postpartum depression" may have happened 30 years ago, but that was only a small part of the problem she experienced. The basis was that the husband's family(greek orthodox) just couldn't accept her and that was the basis for the break up. She treated us to the Lion King on Broadway,,,$100 orchestra seats and it was super! We all had a great time together!
Best,
Ed
By bandradzki
Posted 12/04/02 9:21 AM
A good time was had by all. :D
Wonderful! Glad to hear your friend is doing well now.
How neat to see the Lion King too. I got tickets yesterday to go hear one of my favorite performers/composers - Yanni.
So I have something to look forward to for March. But I love the plays. Saw "Phantom of the Opera" about 4 times, "Cats", "South Pacific", and "Footloose" in recent years. What a treat! :)
Sometimes things like this can take you out of yourself and they can be very good for stress busting.
Unless...like last February. We had tickets for "South Pacific". We live outside of Atlanta and down here when it snows or ices, navigating the roads are unsafe and impossible. Well, we headed out and just as we neared the city, it started snowing and the roads were beginning to be a real mess. We ended up turning around and coming back home. Well, it seems they cancelled the performance so we got to reschedule, thank goodness. But it was stressful for a while.
I gotta learn to trust more. That would be less stressful. LOL
By bandradzki
Posted 11/13/02 5:21 PM
Just wondering as I have experienced a bit of a set back with an
how some of you might have been experiencing symptoms of anxiety and what success you have had in coping with it or lessening it?
By DurangoGirl
Posted 11/17/02 7:45 AM
Boy am I way behind in my message center!
I do what I've been busy doing the last couple of days...cleaning...straightening up the garage...taking many things I haven't used for awhile or wore...to my Women's shelter. At the end of my day, I'm tired, but oh so fullfilled and happy. ;-)
By bandradzki
Posted 11/17/02 7:56 AM
Hey, I am doing some of that myself.
Started on my closet last night. Have a big bag of stuff to share now and I am not done yet. ;)
By DurangoGirl
Posted 11/17/02 8:01 AM
I couldn't believe all the clothes I have never worn LOL
I also have been keeping a bigscreen TV in my garage for almost two years now. It's a nice 60 inch that my son wanted when I replaced it with a bigger one. Now the boy has had excuse after excuse for I don't know how long ...so I gave it to the Women's shelter...and free'd up a lot of space in my garage. Course I can just hear my son, as soon as he finds out what I did..."I told you mom I wanted that TV" LOL
By Nettie
Posted 11/13/02 5:25 PM
broken record...
I'm sure I sound like a broken record, dear Brenda, but my answer remains absorbing oneself in nature and/or volunteer work.
xox
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