Expert Advice: Tantra for One

Dear J.,

The ancient cultures from which Tantra arose had many god and goddess manifestations of the "one." The uniqueness of both male and female energies were recognized and honored.Today, especially during this current crisis, I find the feminine principles lacking in our lives. It's time to weave them back in to offer ourselves a little more balance. The more in balance we are, the more we'll attract our perfect mate.Whether partnered or not, it's always essential to spend time by yourself to create this balance. Consciously set aside some time in your busy schedule to treat yourself to a luxurious bath with music, bubbles, a few drops of a pure essential oil, perhaps a glass of wine and pure relaxation. You could also do a few yoga postures or sit in a quiet space and meditate for 15 minutes. Calm your mind and spirit by treating yourself to this time with just you. When we make love we are, in essence, worshipping. The very act of opening, surrender and release is an act of love for the greater good. And conscious expansion through self-pleasuring is a way in which we can grow our capacity for pleasure and hold it as a gift to the universe. This may sound a little far-fetched, but when we re-frame our negative beliefs about our bodies, pleasure and sexuality, we're helping to heal all humans. Pleasure is our birthright. For many of us, there's no more ecstatic moment than that of orgasmic bliss. We have known no other spontaneous ecstasy or enlightened opening. It's the opening for a kind of expansion, prayer or worship. And so we must use the tools we were given!For men, when you're self-pleasuring, be open to a softer, more feminine experience. This is often the opening needed to discover multiple, full body orgasms. As you increase your pleasure, let thoughts of peace and joy cross your mind. Don't force it, just let it come. With practice, this will happen more often and you'll begin to last longer and feel deeper capacity for pleasure.

For women, know that your capacity is limitless. Breathe and feel the energy created in your body. Relax and know that you are the mother of the universe and that your pleasure will renew and lighten not only you but also the people in your life. When we allow ourselves the bliss of fully felt pleasure, our faces get younger and our spirit stands apart. We feel and look empowered because we are in love with the whole being that is us. This is the key to the invitation for another to enter our lives.

For more information about Suzie Heumann and her work, visit www.tantra.com. To really get the most out of your loving, consider some advanced training. The Tantric Sex Guide is your 24 hour a day guide to the skills that will take you to new heights of pleasure and intimacy.