- Can you cry under water?
- When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping." Now, I just "chunky dunk."
- How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
- If money doesn't grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?
- Since bread is square, why is sandwich meat round?
- Why do you have to "put your two cents in," but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going? Taxes?
- Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
- Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
- How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
- Why is it that people say they, "slept like a baby," when babies wake up, like, every two hours?
- If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
- If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
- Why are you in a movie, but you are on TV?
- Why do people pay to go up tall buildings, then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
- How come we choose from just two people for President, and 50 for Miss America?
- Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
- If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he or she call?
- I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I had any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
- Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life, we could simply press Ctrl Alt Delete and start all over?
- Stress is when you wake up screaming, then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
- Just remember: if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
- If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!
- Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
CONTRIBUTE TO THIS STORY
