Pam Klainer Talks on "How Much is Enough?"

Last night at our monthly Women in Communications meeting, held at our local Bagel Bin - kudos to Randy for always doing such a great job - author and financial advisor Pamela York Klainer spoke. Pam is a local Rochester resident, so we were delighted that she agreed to present to our little group of about 15 women, mostly independent business owners.

Here are some key points I jotted down - all relevant to everyone, when it comes to our approach on handling money. First, Pam was friendly, open, and approachable. I sat with her during dinner and we talked about the importance of having a handle on your finances, even if you're not a numbers person. She recommended having a bookkeeper or accountant who would be willing to explain my business finances in terms I could understand - since I am a number-ditz. Start talking spreadsheets and taxes to me and my eyes glaze over.

Well, I found Pam's talk (I had to duck out before she was done, so this is only the little bit I could gather while there), enlightening. Especially for the women in the group - most of us were women, although one board member's husband came.

See if any of this applies to you, and then go out and buy Pam's book, How Much Is Enough? Harness the Power of Your Money Story - And Change Your Life.

First, she thanked us for inviting her -- always a nice touch. Then, she said she hoped this would be a conversation as she wasn't very good at just standing in front of people lecturing. I liked that.

Then, she announced that the box of books she brought was her donation to us. We could sell them and keep the proceeds, and save any unsold copies to sell at other events. That was really nice.

Her next statement had me thinking ... here's what she said, "What would you surmise about this statement: I drove here tonight in an $80,000 jaguar." Then, she paused. People laughed and joked but the reality was, we all formed an image of her, of her values, and of her worth, just by that statement. "People are hesitant to talk about money in a self-revealing way -- for fear of being judged," she went on to say. Why? Because money always has a literal meaning and a symbolic meaning.

The Literal meaning has to do with how much, or how many. Like when Great Aunt Agnes brings you a gift and gushes, "That cost me $24 you know." Are you supposed to be flattered that she spent all of $24, or insulted? Depends on who you are. [that last statement is my interpretation]

The Symbolic meansing has to do with what money stands for. Things like - intelligence. We think people with wealth are smart. Things like -- power. With enough money, you have a lot of power - think Donald Trump. With affection -- buying gifts for friends and family so they'll "know" you love them.

There was a lot more said, and I missed the last half (I hope it will be in our newsletter) ... but the idea hit home. I bought one of Pam's books to read about this in more depth. She did mention a couple of times that women are not as good with the whole number and money thing than men. It's because we're raised to be "good girls" and not to toot our own horns. Women hardly ever negotiate a salary for a new job, or ask for a raise, when they deserve it. I'm hoping her book helps uncover my discomfort with money - and shows me how to get over it.

I'll let you know.