What Women Want in Love

Your Love & Relationship Coach at www.FixYourLoveLife.com and www.LoveCoachBlog.com

When you consider all the myths about what men and women think the opposite sex wants from a relationship, it's no wonder so many singles are single and resentful – and frustrated with the opposite sex. And it’s no wonder that people who are in a relationship are often frustrated with their partner.

Men believe women primarily want them for security reasons, and women believe men primarily want them for sex or to be caregivers. This explains why both men and women often feel used in relationship.

Neither gender feels valued as a human being, but only for how they can satisfy the needs of the other. Both sexes resent each other and play out this resentment in relationships.
Fortunately, most of what each gender believes the other wants is actually not true for the majority of the population.

Many women are secure financially, socially, and emotionally without men. Most women do not look for a man or for a relationship for security reasons, but are instead looking for deep partnership.

Many men look at women as much more than sexual objects or caregivers. It is not that men do not find women attractive or do not want to be nurtured. It is that men want a best friend, a playmate, a partner in their mate.

So what's going on here? Why does each gender have a skewed view of what the other wants?

The way the sexes view each other dates back to a time when men and women had to worry more about survival, whether economic or physical. Prior to a few generations ago women did need and want men for security. Women depended on men for their and their children’s economic survival and social standing. Men, who were busy providing for and protecting their wives, family, and often parents, did not have room to be emotional. They rightly expected to be taken care of and got their needs for tenderness, love, and affection met through sex.

However, most adults are far beyond survival now, at least in the industrialized world. And yet we still hold onto the beliefs that the opposite sex values us for nothing more than what we could have provided in our more difficult sociological past.

To help dispel these dated myths, let’s take a look at what a contemporary woman wants in love and in a relationship.

What Women Want:

    1.    Women want to be adored.

Women do not need relationships – they choose to be in a relationship because they want to be part of a couple. Women want the best relationships have to offer, and one of the best things a relationship has to offer is adoring, and being adored by, your partner.

To adore someone means you overwhelmingly positively respond to the person. It means you beam when the person comes in to the room, you smile involuntarily when you’re with the person, you feel a rush of emotions you don’t normally feel. This is how women want their men to feel about them.

    2.    Women want to be wanted and craved sexually.

We live in post-sexual revolution era, and women do have a sex drive. Many women want to be wanted and craved sexually by their mate. They want to be the object of desire, the one that turns him on and turns his head.

Many women are no longer satisfied to have a man get settled into a relationship and let the fire of passion burn out, or maintain some passion out of obligation. Women want to be the vixens and temptresses; they want to be found irresistible by their man, again and again.

    3.    Women want to be wanted for their companionship.

Women want to be sought out for their company by the man they are in a relationship with. After all, what is the point of being in a relationship if there’s no time spent together?

Rather than needing to be with a man, many women are just fine being single and being their own great company. But when in a relationship, women want companionship, and they want the man to want that companionship and seek it out.

    4.    Women want partnership.

Women want a partner in their mate – someone who will shoulder half the responsibility of whatever chore or challenge they are up against.

Some women don’t mind the traditional division of roles in the household, while others want a more 50/50 spilt. Most want a man who can flow easily between traditional and non-traditional responsibilities. All women expect men to chip in and do their share.
 
    5.    Women want to be heard.

Women want to be heard. They do not want to deal with defensiveness from men. They do not want to be shut down, ignored or placated. They simply want to be listened to and responded to in a reasonable manner.

Granted, the issues women most want to be heard on are issues that are difficult for men to handle – namely how the men are not “getting it right and how they could do better”. However, this is a strong wish for most women – to simply and completely be heard by their mate.

    6.    Women want men who can communicate and stay in the conversation.

Women want men to communicate. Women specifically want communication about feelings, needs, wants, hopes, dreams, problems, solutions, and all other topics that make a relationship and life work. Women also want communication about expectations and plans. Women would rather put things on the table than sweep them under the rug.