A New Year’s Resolution

With a new year many of us make new years resolutions. Resolution by its definition means that there is some conflict to resolve. The resolving of this conflict brings about resolution. When we think of making New Year’s resolutions most of us think of goals or changes we establish and hope to accomplish. So to truly make a resolution we must look at our conflicts and how to resolve them.
Diet and exercise are the most prominent resolutions. The conflict is always between eating what we want and staying slim and healthy. Exercise becomes a conflict of time. Would we rather sleep or exercise?
When we think of conflict we often think of arguing and fighting. However there is a positive dimension to conflict. Just as we know conflict is inevitable because of the differences between people, we also know that without conflict there would never be change, innovation and creativity. The key to positive conflict is based in its resolution.
Conflict typically involves some obstacle to achieving a desired goal. It often arises when one has a chance to win at another’s expense. Competition exemplifies this type of conflict. Yet it doesn’t always take two to quarrel; sometimes we quarrel within ourselves.
If our desires are denied we become frustrated. If there are alternative routes to satisfying these desires we feel internal conflict.
Conflict forces the individual to choose, to make a decision among alternatives. Conflict causes the individual to respond either constructively or destructively. Among the destructive alternatives are aggression, withdrawal and ego-defensive reactions. These defense mechanisms protect the individual from anxiety, although at the price of a certain degree of reality denial or distortion.
A possible constructive effect of internal conflict for the individual may be that they are impelled to make a greater effort to reach the goal in the best way. If the conflict is still unresolved they may redefine the problem or change the goal.
Conflict may thus make people reexamine themselves, their goals and the means of attaining these goals.
So as we begin the New Year with abstract resolutions about the conflicts in our lives it might be a good idea to examine the conflicts and then determine the best way to reach these goals. If the best way does not work perhaps we could redefine the problem or change the goal. This would require flexibility and adaptability which bring about balance and balance brings about stability, which lead to peace and serenity. If health in body-mind should be our goal for the next year and family, friends, work and obligations are in conflicts with reaching these goals perhaps in the reexamining of ourselves we can come to the resolve that our goal to establish that inner stability along with a healthier body-mind is not really a conflict at all. When we take care of our body-mind in a healthy and supportive fashion we have more to give to others, to our work and to life.
So if you find yourself in conflict, examine the negative ways we approach a problem and resolve to change and to make your first and most important goal peace of mind and health of body.
Happy New Year
Doctor Lynn
www.doctorlynn.com