Reconnecting for the Holidays

In last week’s post, I made reference to the Holiday Season often being disappointing because it doesn’t live up to your expectations. Many of those expectations have to do with you relationships. As humans, relationships are vital to us. Of course, being part of a couple is generally what you think of when you hear the word ‘relationship.’ But, there are many different types of relationships, and they can be very significant to your sense of health and well-being: co-workers, friends, parents, siblings, and other relatives. But what about those of you who have strained relationships? Or, in extreme cases, when you are no longer talking to people who once had meaning to you? The good, the bad, and the ugly Before I go any further in this blog, please understand that I never sit in judgment. In fact, there are definite times that it is absolutely necessary to cut oneself off from someone else. Sometimes, sadly, you find that you are involved with someone who is toxic. For instance, if an individual is abusive, you certainly cannot maintain interaction with him or her. But my experience with people for over 25 professional years has demonstrated to me that most breaks in relationships are due to misunderstandings and miscommunications. Each party gets hurt and offended and neither side is willing to rise above these painful feelings to extend a bid to try and figure things out. After all, it’s much easier to point a finger at what the other person did than to look at your part in the situation. To be fair, there is also the possibility that the other person did do something upsetting. Then the question becomes: “Is it worth losing the relationship over this incident or this trait?” Another way of thinking about it is to consider the overall picture: “Do I get something from this relationship that outweighs the negative?” Making a change A little while ago, I wrote about the Holiday Season being different because of the economy. We are all being challenged to cut back on the usual spending and perhaps be more creative in our gift-giving. But as I mentioned in that post, the upside of this situation is that we can come back to more authentic giving of ourselves. For those in your life where things are strained, can you consider “letting go” of the tension and refocus on the good in the person? And, perhaps this is the time to reconsider those people with whom you have lost touch. No doubt, you will hesitate. You may think the other person will not be receptive to your gesture. Again, this time from my personal experience, this is unlikely. If you are in doubt, you could try writing a letter so you don’t have to go face-to-face, which might be easier. This is supposed to be the Season of Giving. Do consider giving yourself the gift of reconnecting with those who have meant something to you -- I think you’ll find it very special! I invite all of you to get a free monthly newsletter with relationship tips. To sign up, go to: www.ChoiceRelationships.com